Thoughts From Home

An Example For Us To Follow

2012-01-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

Life is often times difficult and there are no easy answers. So what are we to do? Where are we to turn? Let us look to history. For those who have gone before us, have left us an example that we should follow.

Job was a man "down on his luck" as we would say. He had every right to be angry and bitter, to question God. He was an upright man who lost everything, his family, possessions and health. All the things we hold so dear. He could not understand why God had allowed it and his friends were no help. Job found himself at that place of asking, "why?". He even cried out bitterly, "It profits a man nothing that he should delight himself with God and consent to Him" (Job 34:9).

Job deserved an answer, right? Well, he didn't get one and often we don't either. Instead, God spoke of His power and sovereignty over the earth. He questioned Job about creation saying, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me if you understand." (Job 38:2-4). Who are we to think we know better than God?

Job's response was surrender. He declared, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know...Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes." (Job 42:3,6). Job trusted in the sovereignty of God and in due time he was blessed more than before (Job 42:17).

It is only in complete surrender to God that our souls will find rest. "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:5-8)

Are you afraid to surrender? Then seek Him, for He is faithful to be known. When you know the truth of Him, and understand His love, you will find the peace to surrender. For perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18). "One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you, O God , are strong, and that you, O LORD, are loving." (Psalm 62:11) God is both able and willing to help.

We may not always understand His ways, but we can trust them.

Even in the good times we are often disillusioned because worldly success does not satisfy. There is only One in whom our souls will find satisfaction (Psalm 62:1). Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness...(Matthew 6:33).

Jack of all Trades, Master of None

2012-01-24T09:56:00.000-08:00

I was thinking the other day about how I would like to be really good at something. I have never been great at anything. For instance, I am athletic enough to play sports, but I was never a starter; I can carry a tune, but I am not going to sell any records; I can take a decent picture, but you won't find them in National Geographic. Even my personality comes out in the middle, when given one of those personality tests. Is my God given destiny to be the median for everyone else? I guess someone has to do it. Why not me?

Is greatness all about gifting and ability, or is there something else to it? When I was discussing my desire to be the best at something with my husband, Michael, he said he had too many different interests. He said those who are really good at something have few, if any, other pursuits. Olympic athletes, for instance, practice eight or more hours a day. They practically live, eat and breathe their sport. So it seems, that along with talent, one must have a passion to pursue as well.

This makes sense in my case. I never was overly aggressive in sports and whether basketball or piano I detested practicing. I just wanted to play! I do have a variety of interests and am always trying to make sure my life is balanced. I never want to forsake one thing for another. I have trouble deciding on what I like best. Is one way better than the other?

As in most aspects of life, either side can be taken too far. It is not healthy to forsake relationships for whatever passion you are pursuing. But on the other hand, maybe I don't focus hard on any one thing because what if I try really hard and don't succeed? It seems safer to just dabble. Is safe what I want?

If the medium line is what God wants me to represent in this life, then I will learn to be content. I will enjoy that which I do to the extent it can fit into my life. But I do not want to miss what I am good at simply because I am afraid.

In this life, the destiny of some may be to offer one great thing and for others of us it may be to offer many lesser things. But they are lesser only in degree, not in affect. For who, having been touched by a small act of kindness, considers that act small?

It seems to always come down to whose definition you live by. After all, it was God who chose the foolish to shame the wise and the weak to shame the strong (1 Cor. 1:27). Seeking God and being obedient is what matters.

Well, I guess that settles it. Now I can go start on that new project I have been wanting to try. Why fight it? The median isn't such a bad place to be. ;)

The Secret to Contentment

2011-12-31T07:26:00.000-08:00

Paul said he had learned to be content (Phil.4:11). The secret to his contentment was Christ, through whom we can do all things. Contentment comes from focusing on Jesus rather than ourselves, from faith in His promises and power, His greatness and goodness. We must fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). For He is able.

The scriptures are not just stories or a list of rules. They are truth and life. In keeping them there is great reward! They hold the answer to all our needs (2 Peter 1:3-4). We walk around bleeding and bruised, from bumping into life, because we are blinded. The ways of the world have distorted our vision, blinding us to that which is ours in Christ. The scriptures (the Word of God) clear our vision. It is like putting on a new pair of glasses and realizing how blind we were and rejoicing that we can now see clearly. This clear vision will change your life. Seek Him, for He shall be found.

Christmas: Joy or Sadness?

2011-12-21T08:41:00.000-08:00

Christmas should be a time of joy not sadness. Then why is it that so many find this a hard time of year? Could it be where our focus lay? Instead of focusing on Jesus, we focus on ourselves. We have made the holiday into something of our own making, where expectations must be met or all is lost. This makes me sad. Christmas should be a time of great joy because it celebrates the birth of our saviour!

We are promised that we will have trouble in this world (John 16:33), but Christ says to take heart because He has overcome the world. The joy of this season is not in the decorations, the food, the presents or even having all our family together, but in the fact God sent His one and only Son to bring us eternal life. We should be overjoyed celebrating the hope we have, made all the brighter because our circumstances aren't merry and bright. Let us celebrate the first coming of The King, as we look forward to the second, glorying in the salvation His death and resurrection bought for us. The gift that really does keep giving. :)

Positive Thinking

2011-12-20T09:46:00.001-08:00

I believe that our misery or happiness has more to do with the attitude of our mind, than with our circumstance. Don't misunderstand me, there is pain and sadness in this world. We will grieve, but we do not have to live there.

We miss out on so many good things, because we are too busy grumbling about the bad. We stay in the pit of despair, when we have been offered infinite joy. I am not talking about pulling yourself up by the boot straps and pasting on a fake smile. I am talking about a change of mind.

Romans 12:2 says that we are to renew our minds. We are to think on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). We are to rejoice always, giving thanks in all circumstances. That all sounds great, but is it feasible? Yes! Everything is possible for him who believes.

What I am writing of is not some new age positive thinking, but it is positive thinking based on the One who works all things for our good. Philippians tells us in chapter four verses four through nine, that if we will change our thinking and bring everything to God, we will have peace. And peace allows us to find joy no matter the circumstances.

I firmly believe this is possible, not just because it is written in God's Word, though that is enough, but because I have experienced it in my life. The circumstances in my life that pulled me into the pit of sadness and grief, have not changed, but I have found joy. It was not an overnight success, but it came one day at a time as I chose to believe in the hope I have in Christ. I began renewing my mind and trusting in the character of God, until one day I realized I was full of joy and could honestly praise God for the blessings in my life, both"good and bad". I rejoice and am thankful for the life I have.

It is possible for anyone. As the Israelites were trapped between the Red Sea and the Egyptians, they grumbled to Moses and pitied themselves. But Moses replied to them, "Do not be afraid, Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still (silent)." (Exodus 14:14) Begin today. Choose to think positively based on the unfailing love of God.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People

2011-12-09T13:21:00.002-08:00

We are always asking why bad things happen to good people. Why does God allow these things to happen? I can not begin to answer for God, but I have come to believe we ask this from a faulty view point. We are first of all assuming that these people are good. We are making the assertion that they are innocent and thus undeserving of it. Perhaps this is a testament to our pride and egocentric thinking.

Though there may not be a direct connection between the person and the tragedy, the person is not faultless. We are a sinful race, deserving of wrath. If you doubt me, answer these questions. Have you ever lied? Have you ever stolen anything? Have you ever taken God's name in vain? Have you ever looked in lust? If you answered yes, then how can you say you are good, when in reality you are a lying, thieving, blaspheming, adulterer?

We only seem good when compared to others of our kind. But according to God's standard (the only one that matters) we are all sinners and deserve the consequences of living in a fallen world of our choosing. We have chosen our own way rather than God's. So the real question is why do good things happen to bad people?

Why? Because every good and perfect gift is from above. God sent His one and only Son to pay our penalty. Through Jesus Christ we may have life and not only life in the future, but help for the now. We are new creations. We are good because of our righteousness in Christ. He indeed has given us what we do not deserve. He has given us grace.

Greene County: A Diamond In The Rough

2011-11-26T14:49:00.000-08:00

Greene County often gets a bad rap. There are moments it deserves it, but who doesn't? All too often new comers are quick to judge and see only the negative. I was one of those new comers.

Fifteen years ago I wandered into Greene County thinking I had wandered through a time portal. "Little House on the Prairie does exist!" I would proclaim. But I have come to love it here. As so many of the teens were fleeing, I was sinking down roots deeper. Why? Because this is where I choose to make my home.

God brought me here, my husband was raised here, but it is love that keeps me here. We have traveled much and found more beautiful places, more cultured places, more exciting places. But we keep coming back to the family and friends we have here.

I have come to embrace and even appreciate the differences from where I grew up. The uniqueness of the culture and people. I admit there are some things I will never get used to, like macaroni in my chili, but I have found myself becoming more and more Greene. ;)

The Forecast is 100 percent

2011-11-22T14:11:00.000-08:00

Matthew 5:45 says that God causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous alike. God does not show favoritism, he loves all. So, why are we so shocked by trials? We act as if something strange were happening to us or worse, that God were being untrue. On the contrary, God gave his forecast with 100 percent accuracy (1 Peter 4:12, John 16:33). Life happens and tragedy comes to us all. The question is how do we respond to it?

We can not avoid the inevitable, but we can choose our response to it. Will we fight against our only hope, or will we turn to the One who is our refuge? The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run into it and are safe (Proverbs 18:10).

Remember that two sparrows are sold for a penny, and yet not one of them falls to the ground apart from the will of the Father. We are worth far more than many sparrows, for God has even the very hairs of our head numbered (Matthew 10:29-31). And that number changes daily!

The forecast may be the same for us all, but there is a difference for the believer and unbeliever. The believer has hope, both for this life (comfort, peace, joy) and the life to come (eternal life). Our faith gives us victory through Jesus Christ. All God's ways are righteous and he is loving toward all he has made.

Praise be to God, forever and ever, Amen!

Pursued By God

2011-10-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

It fun to see God working in your lives and the vastness of His love for us, meeting us each where we are and then leading us on. Using both the big things and the little things to reach us. And I love that He has a sense of humor!

In April I went to a Captivating Conference in Colorado. In one of the morning sessions they talked about how God will give us things to touch our heart, to let us know He loves us, much like a dating couple does. I have received this from God before, but this day a lady shared about finding heart shaped rocks on the beach, another about seeing heart shaped clouds in the sky. After hearing this, I asked God for one too. "God would you show me a heart shaped cloud?" Later that day, during free time, I went into a restroom I had not been in before. I went into the stall and did my business. As I was buttoning my pants, I looked up and someone had painted the ceiling like a sky. And...you guessed it...right there on the bathroom ceiling was my heart cloud! I started laughing! Good thing I was alone. That day, in the most unlikely of places, God showed me His heart for me. And the humor of it all made it that much sweeter. Like I said, He reaches us each where we are at. ;)

On a more serious note, I know He pursues me too, because He sends me messages through books, movies, etc. I went to the Library a few weeks ago for something I can't even remember now. But while I was there I felt an urge to check out the Christian fiction section. I really wasn't interested in a fiction book, as I had other pressing matters, but I looked anyway. A particular book caught my attention and so I decided to take it home. I still didn't think I would actually read it. A few days later I picked it up and read it. I knew then why I had been compelled to check it out. There was a message in it for me. God has been trying to move me and the story encouraged me in that direction. This always makes me feel special. To know that God cares so much and will use even simple things to speak to me.

Living with Him by our side, loving Him and sharing that love with others. Trusting in His plan and obediently following in everyday life, moment by moment. Surrendering and letting Him change us, conforming us to the image of His Son. That is beautiful! Life is good, but His love is better than life!

Does God Care About Football?

2011-10-16T16:41:00.001-07:00

I just watched the movie, The 5th Quarter. It is an incredible story, just make sure you bring some tissues. One of the characters in the movie is a college football player. After a family tragedy, he finds help in playing the game. His team was supposed to finish last in their conference, but instead won the championship. Afterwards, I was wondering what made the difference in their season. Did God really care if they won or not?

I believe He did. God cares about a football game, because football is played by people and God cares about people. He will work out His purpose in each of our lives, whether through winning or losing, for our good and His glory. And we must remember, that which glorifies God is for our good.

Mellowing With Age?

2011-10-04T10:34:00.000-07:00

I distinctly remember the first time I realized my dad was mellowing. I went out on our ski boat with my brother and a couple of his friends. We took the boat into unfamiliar territory and ended up driving it through shallow water, breaking the prop. We were sure we were busted! So on the way home we counseled my brothers friends to take off right away, so as to miss the blow up. They did. When dad came out to look at what we had done, he was surprisingly calm. No blow up. Was this our dad? Yes. Time had apparently calmed him. We sure were glad. Now that I am approaching the same age my dad was then, I am noticing my reaction to things. I am experiencing a similar mellowing. What is it that causes this? Surely it is not just years ticking by. Then what is it?

I think it goes back to perspective. Let me share an illustration I observed the other weekend. Michael and I went out with friends for the evening. Within the first half hour we were gone their kids called them several times. The matter was always urgent. Each called seemed rather frivolous to me, but to the child it was a matter of great importance, even an emergency if you will. I suppose in their limited experience of life, it was.

As you get older and your experiences expand, you come to realize two things that mellow you out. First, you find out their are much weightier issues to be concerned about. Second, you have survived much and realize that this too shall pass. It takes more to get you riled up. You learn to save your energy for the big ones. And that most things,as my father-in-law always says, won't matter in a hundred years.

When we are young, it is as if we are staring at a painting close up. But as we age, we move farther back from it. It comes into better focus and we can see the broader picture. This change in perspective changes our thinking and feeling about it. It is this, not just the years, that mellows us.

Surrender Is Necessary For Victory

2011-09-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

Whether you have been in the military or not, you are probably aware of what boot camp is. It is the harsh training that turns you from a mere citizen into a soldier, ready for battle. To those of us mere citizens, it seems harsh and unyielding. Is it really necessary to scream at them all day long? Is it fair to punish the whole group for one or two peoples infractions? I have never been through it myself, but I would guess that those who have will say it is useful, and in the heat of battle, necessary.

There is purpose to what takes place. It is not for the simple pleasure of those in command. It is to prepare the men and women for victory. The individual wills of each person must be surrendered. There must be unity within the group. And they must learn to obey orders at all cost. In the middle of war there can be no room for individual wants and desires. They must believe and surrender to the commands of a higher authority, if there is any chance of victory. A kingdom divided can not stand(Matthew 12:25).

There is a war going on between God and Satan. The ultimate victory has already been won, but we continue to fight skirmishes until the evil one is bound. It is a battle to conform us to the image of Christ for God's glory. We have been assured that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world(1 John 4:4). Then why do we experience so much defeat? I believe surrender is the key, just as it is in the military.

We must give up our wills for His, our ways for His and believe Him. We must be in agreement with God and obey, keeping in step with His Spirit. Only in faith can we be victorious (1 John 5:4). It is not about mustering up our own courage and forging ahead as we think best. It is being aware of the devils schemes and standing on the Word of God. And remember, no army is made up of one person. We need each other, for encouragement, comfort and help. It is reassuring to know that someone has got your back.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Tri, Tri Again

2011-08-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

Sunday was the day. Two friends and I participated in a sprint triathlon. It was their first. It was my fourth, but it had been 6 years since my last one. It was a fun day overall. The weather couldn't have been better! It stayed overcast until the moment we finished and then the sun came out and it got hot. We got to swim in a No Swimming canal. One friend forgot to bring her running shoes and had to buy a new pair the night before, and my other friend managed to knock down a bike rack in the transition area (there were no bikes on it at the time, thank goodness). It was all the more fun because I was able to share it with these girlfriends.

Racing is a funny thing. You have put in the training and on any given day can go the distance. But it is a whole different feel when you gather with hundreds of other people to test your skills and endurance on that day. The battle between the mind and body comes to a full clash. All your senses are on high alert and the nerves, oh, the nerves.

For the three of us, the goal was to simply finish. We were not setting out to win awards or break any records. Then why was I so nervous? I knew rationally that there was no reason for me to be nervous. However, my head kept failing to tell my stomach and by the end of the bike I was feeling the twisting and turning of my intestines.

While my intestines were on high alert, my pain sensors elsewhere had taken a break apparently. I noticed before the run that something was amiss under my left big toe. A blister? Or maybe my sock was bunched? No time to check, so off we ran. I didn't think about it the rest of the run. I was too worried about my stomach finally going on complete strike.

I made it to the finish line with no ill effects and when I was finally able to check, I found I had a cut on the bottom of my toe. Now how did that get there? And how did I not notice when it happened? My husband suggests it happened on the metal ramp we used to get in the water for the swim. A very likely scenario. But how did I not feel it happen? Adrenaline. At least that is his theory as well. Again, a very likely answer. I was pretty hyped up before the start.

So, back to the fascinating changes that race day brings. During training I was sure that the swim would be my best leg and the running my worst. As it turns out, the result was the total opposite! My swim was a disaster! I made it, but not with the flying colors I had hoped. While I felt remarkably strong on the run (stomach cramps aside). I attribute the run success to training in the hills and the race course being wonderfully flat. Whatever the reason, isn't it interesting how reality can turn out so different from our expectations?

Race day also showed me how skewed our goals can get. We may go in with the goal of just finishing, but all the hype surrounding us can easily sway us into desiring more or just getting caught up and carried along at someone elses pace. And what started out to be fun ends up being miserable. It took me a few miles on the bike to remember what I was there for. Then I was able to smile and enjoy the scenery as it went by.

Pride is always a factor in these things as well, especially for repeat offenders like myself. And it was my pride that almost led to my downfall. But thankfully I had my friends to hold me up. We swam and biked on our own, but we ran together. That was the funnest part. By the time we sprinted across the finish line, I was laughing.

My connection with these girls runs a little deeper now, for we have trained, endured and conquered together. We have helped each other reach a goal and become better than we were before. A lesson I will take into the rest of my life.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Falling in Love

2011-07-21T07:37:00.000-07:00

Isn't being in love wonderful? Everything seems brighter and happier. We would think nothing of driving two hours to see our beloved, when before we would grumble about having to drive a half hour to get across town. Mundane tasks suddenly become enjoyable. Time stands still and nothing else matters. Our thoughts are constantly on the one we love.

This is the way I feel. I must be in love. With who, you might ask? I have fallen in love with Jesus Christ. I long to be with Him. Prayer used to be a chore, now it is a compulsion. I am finding joy in everything.

The secret is, much like my earthly love, He was the one who first loved me and wooed me until I accepted His love and fell for Him. Now, my love for Jesus grows everyday, as I come to know Him more. His love truly is amazing.

Shadows

2011-07-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend the other day about the desire to have a child. What the reasons were for wanting to be a mother. There are many. Some noble, some not so. But as I pondered it again today, I realized something. My main reason is the shadow of a deeper longing. And the reason I have found contentment in my barrenness is because the deeper longing has found its fulfillment.

Let me explain. Though I still long for the experience of pregnancy, etc., my main longing was to have the complete, unconditional love of a child. You see, there is no one so special in a child's life like their mother, even a bad one. Ultimately, they always want their mom. This was what I wanted. I wanted to be that person in someones life. I wanted that love. And I have found it in the love of Jesus Christ.

Being a mother, though wonderful, is only a temporary pleasure. It is not meant to be the end all, but rather enjoyed and seen as a shadow of the reality of God's love for us. With this truth, I have been set free. Because though I may never experience the shadow, I have the reality now and forever more!

Simple Pleasures

2011-07-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that when you are satisfied in the Lord, even the simplest of pleasures brings great joy?

Have you seen the commercial where the woman takes out her laundry and bringing it to her face, inhales deeply and then smiles? That was me this morning. I took pleasure in the sweet smell of freshly laundered sheets, inhaling deeply of them. And I can't wait until tonight when I get to go to bed and enjoy sleeping in them. :)

We try and fill our selves with these earthly pleasures, but in and of themselves they do not satisfy. Only God can satisfy the desires and longings He has placed in us. And when He does, it allows pleasures to be what they were meant to be and they become more than they could have ever been on their own. Just as we are more truly us in Christ, than we are alone. And then, even the little things are great.

May each of you find your satisfaction and joy in the Lord. For the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10).

Trying To Help

2011-07-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

Just now, as I was sitting on the couch reading a book, I saw something strange on the bird feeder outside. I couldn't quite tell what it was, though it had the appearance of a bird hanging from the end. As I approached the feeder, I could see that it was, indeed, a bird. It began to flutter and I could see it was caught.

I am not sure how it did it, but it managed to get its head stuck adn its body was dangling backwards. I was sure its neck would be broken, as it kept trying to free itself. But since it was still moving, there was hope.

I was able to get it flipped over, but its head was still stuck. As I tried to push its head back through the opening, it fought me. I was finally able to get the bird free and it immediately flew away. Other than a little shaken, it seemed okay.

As I came back inside I thought about how that bird resisted my help. It didn't like what I was doing to it. But didn't it realize I was trying to help it? I was going to set it free. I was suddenly struck with the similarity to how we respond to God's help, as He works to set us free. We fight against Him because sometimes the help is painful and we can't understand what He is doing. I wonder if He asks himself the same question, "Don't they realize I am trying to help them? I am going to set them free."?

How The Body Grows

2011-06-25T10:29:00.000-07:00

We are made up of a physical body and a spirit. They both grow the same way; through God. It is in Him, the creator of all things, that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28).

I was pondering this as I thought about my upcoming triathlon. I am continually amazed at how the human body responds to training. I feed it, and work it and I am able to do more and do it better. It isn't really the work that causes it to improve though. The stress of training actually breaks the body down. It is in the rest periods between training that the body rebuilds and gets stronger. With out the rest I would end up exhausted or injured or both. There must be both my training it and then letting it recover. The body responds this way, on its own, by God's design.

Our spirit responds in much the same way. It is up to us to read God's Word and pray, but He is the one who brings about the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6-7). Spiritual disciplines are good, but they are not an end unto themselves. It is not a matter of trying harder and forcing good deeds. That will only wear us out. We must put in the training and then rest in God and look to Him to bring the growth. He will make us able to be better and do more. It will make the going easier and more profitable (Matthew 11:28-30). And it will be God, not us who receives the glory.

One Night With The King

2011-06-18T10:18:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching a movie about Esther. It never fails to stir my heart, no matter how many times I see it or read the story. Why is that? Is it the fairy tale of rags to riches? Perhaps. Or is it the courage she displays against all odds? I am certain. But mostly, I think it is the fact that she had an irreplaceable role to play. Her life made a difference. It was only one act in time among life's many stages, but it was hers and she surrendered to it.

As a child of God, my position is secure(1 John3:1). I am seated with Christ in the heavenly realms ( Ephesians 2:4-10). One day I will reign with Him (2 Timothy 2:12). But now is my time here on earth to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me(Philippians 3:12). All that is Christ's is already mine(2:9-10). Now is my time to help bring God's Kingdom to earth as it is in Heaven(Matthew 6:10).

Who knows whether my act will be large or small? It is not the size that matters, but the willingness to surrender to it. Will I live for God's purposes? Will I have the courage of Esther, when the time comes, to say I will do it, even if I perish?

May it be said of my life, that I ran as one running to win the prize, that I fought the good fight, and that my life was granted for such a time as this.

Organism or Organization?

2011-06-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

We recently returned from a lovely weekend getaway. The B&B was wonderful and the leisurely drive through quaint down towns was relaxing. But a conversation with a couple over breakfast got me to thinking. Did Jesus come to create a club or build a body?

This couple was excited about a new minister coming to their church. The congregation was older and in danger of extinction if they didn't get younger members. There is high hopes that this new minister can bring those new people in. I am not saying that is all bad, but as I listened to them talk about why and how this was going to take place, it sounded more like trying to build up an organization rather than an organism, a club rather than a body. There was precious little said about helping people, or seeking and saving the lost. It was all about programs to make it more appealing and to get numbers in so they could keep meeting.

This was very sad to me. I don't know where a long the way, we got so off track. Jesus didn't come so we could have great meetings, he came to accomplish Isiah 61. And this is to be accomplished now through his followers. Yes, the early church members met together, but it was to encourage on another, to fellowship by breaking bread together, to pray and to give. It was to get the message out and let the Holy Spirit work. People then didn't have to be convinced to come by what programs were offered. On the contrary, they came even though they were being persecuted!

I don't want to throw the baby out with the bath water, but is there no way to get back to the basics?

Smoke Screen

2011-05-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

The Pharisees persecuted John the Baptist because he abstained from food and drink and then persecuted Jesus because he did not. How many times has the world done the same to Christians? If we don't drink the world says God is no fun. If we do, then Christians are not living right. These are just smoke screens for the real issue. Jesus said it is not about food and drink, but about the Kingdom of God. The world will use whatever excuse it can to cloud over the real issue. The issue of the heart and the reluctance to give it over to God.

I am here to testify that He is worth giving yourself too. Only then will your heart be free and able to rest.

Who, What, Where, When, Why and How?

2011-05-31T06:17:00.000-07:00

Who, what, where, when, why and how. Remember these six questions? The all important questions to answer about any subject you were studying. I was thinking about them again today. I decided that when it comes to life, the only really important one to answer is who. When you can be sure of the who, the other questions don't hold as much weight.

The who in life I am referring to is Jesus Christ. When you know Him, you can have peace even if the other questions go unanswered. We tend to get this backward and suffer for it. But I have learned through experience, that coming to trust in who He is changes everything, even when nothing changes.

How Does God Come To you?

2011-05-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

How does God show Himself to you? Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart". I believe that just as we are all uniquely made, God has a special way that He relates to each of us. Look throughout scripture and you will see God showing up in different ways to different people. It is not about His character changing or His principles, but about the expression of them. What is special to me may not be the same thing for you. The Almighty God, who created the universe, knows us each so well He can give us the desires of our heart. How amazing is that? We have a longing to be known that well, and He fulfills it.

I had such an experience this morning. I was jogging through town and kept feeling a nudge to go down a certain road. I didn't really want to, because I would have to walk up a really steep hill during my cool down, but I couldn't shake the feeling, so I went. As I started walking up the ascent I was overcome by joy. I was walking through a shower of white fluff, on a tree lined path, a glow in green. The green of the trees and grass was practically fluorescent. It was picturesque, to say the least. And being the photographer junky that I am, I immediately thought about running to get my camera. Instead I walked slowly, basking in the beauty of it, and the knowledge that the Spirit had led me here. I felt God's love. This was a gift from Him for me. He was letting me know that He was there.

During my jog I had been seeking Him. I had been thinking of Galatians 2:20 and how it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. I thought of all that means now and for the future, both to me personally and to the church as a whole. I was seeking to know this in my life, to die to my flesh and let Christ live His life through my body. I am a new creation and I am still me. When I die to the flesh I do not cease to be me. I have the same personality and quirks, but they are better and one day will be perfect. Christ does not come to remove us, but to redeem us. Praise The Lord!

It was in response to this seeking that God came to me today. I sought more from Him and He does not disappoint.

2011-04-25T13:54:00.001-07:00

My husband says he can't figure me out. Go figure? I believe God meant the mystery of a woman to be a good thing. After all, we are made in His image. Just like man and woman, there is a part of God that can be figured out and another part that can't.

Beauty

2011-04-25T13:18:00.000-07:00

I have a thing for beauty. I also have a thing for photography and trying to capture beauty in pictures. I have found that no matter how good the camera or the photographer, the beauty of an object or scene can not fully be replicated. Maybe that is what makes something beautiful. It draws us in and captivates us, but we can not capture it. It remains beyond description. Just out of reach.

I imagine this to be what God's glory is like too. It draws us in and captivates us, but is beyond our ability to fully see or comprehend. That is until that day when we shall see and know fully, even as we are fully known. (1 Cor. 13:12) How I long for that day!

2011-04-25T05:27:00.000-07:00

We have been on the adventure of a lifetime. I am still overwhelmed at the goodness of God. I may not have gotten everything I have wanted from God, but He has given me things beyond my dreams. The statement that where God closes a door, He opens a window is not only very cliche, but an understatement. When I wait upon Him, God never fails to amaze me! God is showing Himself to us, if we would but open our eyes to see. How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

Time Marches On

2011-01-23T14:10:00.000-08:00

Time is no respecter of persons. It just keeps marching on, no matter what. I just learned that a girl I grew up with in youth group has suffered a terrible tragedy. Her husband and two sons were in a car wreck and her two sons were killed. There are not words enough to describe their pain, nor to give comfort to it. Tears and touch will have to do for now. I pray that the God of all comfort will touch them and their faith will give them the strength to grieve, as those who have hope. May His tender mercies fall on them.

I feel as though time should stop for them. How can it keep going? How can life move on at such a time as this? But it doesn't stop and life does go on. At the time it seems so unfair, but it is God's wisdom and His grace. For if it stopped, even for a second, we would be too faint of heart to start it again and all would be lost. Time is what keeps us putting one foot in front of the other through the storm.

Unlikely Hero

2010-12-28T10:16:00.001-08:00

We all want a hero. Someone to look up to. Someone to be like. Someone who will inspire us to be better. Who is your hero? Mine is a very unlikely hero.

Heroes generally come charging in on a white horse or fly in with a cape. They take charge and demand compliance. They seem to be in control. Maybe that is why we like them. They always do what is right and good. The problem is, all earthly heroes have a weakness, like Superman with kryptonite. My hero is different.

He entered the scene helpless and went out as a criminal. He does not demand compliance, but rather offers Himself. He is meek and humble, giving the glory to His father. But make no mistake, He is powerful, He is right and good, and He is always in control. So who is this hero of mine?

Jesus Christ, born in a manger, died on a cross and raised from the dead. Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world!

Family vs. Relationship

2010-10-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

We all have members of our family who, though connected by blood or marriage, we don't have a relationship with. There is no association or involvement. We may have a bond because we are family, but we would not consider them friends. There is no deeper emotional connection. No desire for their company. It is my belief that it is no different in the family of God.

Though we are all connected by Christ's blood, we do not all have a relationship with one another. This may be for a variety of reasons, time, place, personality conflicts, etc. With fallen humanity that is inevitable, but what I find disturbing is the same lack of relationship with God. We may "love" Him because He is our father, but we lack a friendship with Him (James 2:23). We expect things from Him, but we give neither our time nor attention in return. A relationship beyond mere blood ties, goes both ways. What does God call you? Family only or friend too?

New Species Discovered

2010-10-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

I just saw a news feed that they have discovered new species in the Amazon. Isn't that amazing! After all these years and modern technology and there are still new things to be discovered about our world. How can that be? God. He is the all powerful, all knowing, present everywhere, creator God. If His creation is this vast, what else is?

His Word (Isaiah 55:8-11). The Word of God truly is alive and active. No matter how many times you read it, each time will bring new gains. Go ahead and try it for yourself. You will not be disappointed.

Am I Asking For Less?

2010-09-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Our prayers usually consist of asking God to change some circumstance in our life. Why do we do that? Why don't we pray for God to change us? Isn't that why Jesus came?

Though we live under the new covenant, studying the Israelites of the Old Testament is helpful for we can see ourselves in them and if we are wise, we will learn form their mistakes. The Jews were looking for Christ Jesus to set up a physical kingdom and save them from the rule of the Romans, but Jesus came for a much higher purpose. He came not to transform circumstances, but to transform lives. He came to save that which has lasting value.

Scripture makes it clear that in this life we will have trouble and suffering, and why shouldn't we? Christ himself suffered. Are we above Him? Even here though, we are not without hope. For we are promised that we will overcome, just as Christ rose from the dead. God hears our cries and Himself feels the pain of this wicked world.

Are we actually asking less of God? I will end with one of my favorite quotes from C.S. Lewis, "Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased".

Quote from C.S. Lewis: The Problem of Pain

2010-09-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

"By the goodness of God we mean nowadays almost exclusively His lovingness; and in this we may be right. And by Love, in this context, most of us mean kindness-the desire to see others than the self happy; not happy in this way or in that, but just happy. What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, 'What does it matter as long as they are contented?' We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven-a senile benevolence who, as they say, 'liked to see young people enjoying themselves', and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, 'a good time was had by all'. Not many people, I admit, would formulate a theology in precisely those terms: but a conception not very different lurks at the back of many minds. I do not claim to be an exception: I should very much like to live in a universe which was governed on such lines. But since it is abundantly clear that I don't, and since I have reason to believe, nevertheless, that God is Love, I conclude that my conception of love needs correction.

I might, indeed, have learned, even from the poets, that Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness: that even the love between the sexes is, as in Dante, 'a lord of terrible aspect'. There is kindness in love: but love and kindness are not coterminous, and when kindness (in the sense given above) is separated from the other elements of Love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object, and even something like contempt of it. Kindness consents very readily to the removal of its object-we have all met people whose kindness to animals is constantly leading them to kill animals lest they should suffer. Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering. As scripture points out, it is bastards who are spoiled: the legitimate sons, who are to carry on the family tradition, are punished. It is for people whom we care nothing about that we demand happiness on any terms: with our friends, our lovers, our children, we are exacting and would rather see them suffer much than be happy in contemptible and estranging modes. If God is Love, He is, by definition, something more than mere kindness. And it appears, from all the records, that though He has often rebuked us and condemned us, He has never regarded us with contempt. He has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most in explorable sense.

The relation between Creator and creature is, of course, unique...Such a unique relationship can be apprehended only by analogies: from the various types of love known among creatures we reach an inadequate, but useful, conception of God's love for man.

The lowest type is that which an artist feels for an artifact...it is an important analogy so far as it goes. We are, not metaphorically but in very truth, a Divine work of art, something that God is making, and therefore something with which He will not be satisfied until it has a certain character...Over a sketch made to idly amuse a child, an artist may not take much trouble: he may be content to let it go even though it is not exactly as he meant it to be. But over the great picture of his life-the work which he loves, though in a different fashion, as intensely as a man loves a woman or a mother a child-he will take endless trouble-and would, doubtless, thereby give endless trouble to the picture if it were sentient. One can imagine a sentient picture, after being rubbed and scraped and recommenced for the tenth time, wishing that it were only a thumbnail sketch whose making was over in a minute. In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less.

The analogy between God's love for man and a man's love for a woman is freely used in scripture. The church is the Lord's bride whom He so loves that in her no spot or wrinkle is endurable. For the truth which this analogy serves to emphasise is that Love, in its own nature, demands the perfecting of the beloved; that the mere 'kindness' which tolerates anything except suffering in its object is, in that respect, at the opposite pole from Love. When we fall in love with a woman, do we cease to care whether she is clean or dirty, fair or foul? Does a woman regard it as a sign of love in a man that he neither knows nor cares how she is looking? Love may, indeed, love the beloved when her beauty is lost: but not because it is lost.

The problem of reconciling human suffering with the existence of a God who loves, is only insoluble so long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word 'love' and look on things as if man were the center of them. Man is not the center. God does not exist for the sake of man. Man does not exist for his own sake. To ask that God's love should be content with us as we are is to ask that God should cease to be God: because He is what He is, His love must, in the nature of things, be impeded and repelled by certain stains in our present character, and because He already loves us He must labor to make us lovable...when we are such as He can love without impediment, we shall in fact be happy."

Strong Enough

2010-08-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

Strong Enough is the title of a Stacie Orrico song. The questions are asked is He (God) not strong enough, Is He not pure enough, To break me, pour me out and start again? Is He not brave enough to take this chance on me, Please can I have one chance to start again? Will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime? Is there any way to be made whole again? If I am healed, renewed and find forgiveness, find the strength I've never had, will my scars ruin all God's plan? It answers with, He took my life into His hands and turned it all around. In my most desperate circumstance, It's there I finally found, He is strong enough, He is pure enough, He is brave enough.

This song speaks to all of us at one time or another, for life is hard. It speaks to me today. I have been going through a stressful time and am reminded of God's faithfulness to see us through. When I look to Him, He is not only my refuge and deliverer, but brings good from all things. I need not be tossed about with the prevailing winds, for God never changes. He is my firm foundation. I shall not be moved.

Paul shares his struggle with us, so that we can be comforted and have the same trust in God that he did. 2 Corinthians 1: 8-10 says, "For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us". Then in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 he says, "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you. But having the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, 'I believed, therefore I spoke,' we also believe, therefore, we also speak, knowing that He who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal".

It is this trust in who God is and not what He does that I am seeking to rely on. To know and rely on the love God has for me (1 John 4:16). I can trust that what He does is in my best interest for eternity. Because even though I can't see or understand it, I believe that what is seen in temporal, but what is unseen is eternal. God is strong. God is pure. God is brave. He is enough!

The Downfall of Kings

2010-07-07T05:49:00.000-07:00

I was reading, in 2 Chronicles yesterday, about the Kings of Judah. It was rather sad and scary. It served as a warning. For even the kings that began doing what was right in the eyes of the LORD, eventually turned aside to idols. There lives were so promising at the start. They received God's blessing and defeated their enemies. Why would they later give that all up and serve gods of stone and wood? Why not stick with the One who had delivered you? Instead, their lives ended in shame and ruin.

I began to wonder if the same could happen to me. I am living in devotion to God now, but what about in the future? Will I too turn away from the living God? The thought sends chills down my spine. But how can I prevent it?

I think the answer is contained in 2 Chronicles 26:16, which says, "But after Uzziah became powerful, his pride led to his downfall. He was unfaithful to the LORD his God...". Pride seems to be what led to the downfall of the kings. How easily we fall prey to it. We may start out in all sincerity, but soon we begin to take credit for the things God has done. In Deuteronomy 8 God warns the Israelites of this very thing.

So what is the answer to keep us from falling as the kings did? Humbling ourselves before God. Giving thanks to Him for all things. Living with an attitude of Praise to God. Obeying Him. Do not get so focused on the things of earth that you lose sight of God. When the kings would humble themselves in repentance and return to God, He would return the them.

Thank you Lord for the things in my life you have used to humble me. May I always be found faithful. Amen.

A Higher Plane

2010-07-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

We are seated with with Christ in the heavenly realms. It means our lives are on a higher plane than just here on earth. But we often fail to live up to that plane. Living in practice what we are in position, means having a higher view of earthly circumstances. It means having higher definitions of earthly terms like love, comfort, and success.

The God of Color

2010-06-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

As I was out walking today, I began to think about the age old dilemma of God's sovereignty and man's free will. Nothing like a workout for the brain and body. :) I believe without a doubt God is Sovereign. There is nothing outside His control. And though man's will it is not completely free, if it was I would have been pregnant and given birth years ago, we are allowed to make choices. With that decided, it still leaves the question of how the two can coexist. This, I believe, is left to the element of faith.

We do not live in a world of black and white, or even shades of gray. We live in a world of color. The grass is green, the sky is blue, roses are red and people come in red and yellow, back and white. Earth's landscape goes from the desert, to mountains and to the sea. Creation is filled with variety, just as God deals with each of us individually. Oh yes, there are some things black and white, but we must look with truth and see all the colors of the rainbow.

There is only one name under heaven by which men can be saved, Jesus. He is the way, the truth and the life. That is black and white. But each of our testimonies, how we came to Him, are different. Scripture shows some who received the Spirit after baptism and some before. Why not the same? I think it is because God knew our tendency to see everything in black and white and He wanted us to live in color. We are not saved through a set of rituals or the right theology, we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.

So, back to my original thought of sovereignty versus free will. Why has God put forth both, without settling the matter firmly? If we knew for sure that we don't play any part in our salvation, we would become apathetic or feel entitled. If we knew it was up to us, we would be legalistic and prideful. Neither of these are good . But the fact that it is a joint venture humbles us in response to God's work (without Him we wouldn't have a choice) and gives us a reason to reach out.

Balak's Folly

2010-06-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

I was reading in Numbers the other day, and as I read about Balak's failed attempts to get Balaam to curse Israel something struck me. No it didn't hurt, but it was something I hadn't thought of before. I have read the story many times, but this time I was struck with the fact that Balak kept moving to a new spot each of the times he asked Balaam to pronounce a curse. Why did he move to a new spot? Did he really think he could out maneuver God? That if he just found the right place to stand God would change his mind? Seems rather silly to me. But is it all that different from you and I?

How many times have we tried to perform in just the right way, pray just the right words or bargain with God to get what we want? Maybe if God will just stand in our shoes and see things from our perspective, He will change his mind and answer according to our plan. We will rarely admit this, mind you, but we all do it. We all question God's decisions and double guess ourselves.

Does this mean we don't pray? By no means! All the characters of the Bible prayed and received answers. But as God makes clear to Moses in Exodus and Paul reiterates in Romans nine, it is God who determines the outcome according to His will, not our desires. And He is not unjust in His answers. He is not like man.

It does mean that we can be still and wait patiently for God to act. As Proverbs 3:5-6 says, we can trust God and not our own understanding. We can cry to God in our trouble, but we must look with open eyes for our deliverance. We can rest and God will be glorified, which is the purpose of all things. Our lives are to be for the praise of His glory. And that, my friend, will be for our good.

Thankfulness

2010-06-08T15:08:00.000-07:00

The end of May has brought me to a point of thankfulness. Thankful for all the little things I normally take for granted. Things like being able to dress myself, walk, drive, play. I am also thankful for God's mercy and that he works all things for the good of those who love Him.

You see, on May 24th my Dad took a nasty fall, landing on his right side and breaking both his shoulder and hip. It will be a long recovery, but recover he will. For that I am very thankful. I am also thankful that it wasn't worse. He could have hit his head or broken his back, but he didn't.

I have seen God's providence and mercy in the lives of others too. Healing them beyond what we imagined. Working in the details before we knew they were needed. Providing me with a life that allows me the freedom to go and help my family for months at a time if needed.

Yes, there is a God and He is ever present. I am most thankful for His loving mercy; for the hope I have through the blood of Jesus.

Bread and Water

2010-05-17T07:38:00.001-07:00

Bread and water. Simple. Necessary. We can not live without them. They are the physical answer to our physical need. We are body, but we are also spirit and as such, have spiritual needs. The evidence for this is all around us. Mankind is searching for the spiritual, and just as they look to different kinds of food for nourishment of the body, they look to different kinds of religion to fill their spiritual need. The answer to this need of ours has already been given. We need only to look in the right direction and accept it. God gave us the answer in His Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus is described in the book of John as both living water and the bread of life. If we will partake of Him, we will have eternal life. Throughout the Bible God is known by many names, because He represents everything we need. There is no other.

It is the journey that matters

2010-05-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

Gus, a character in Charles Martin's book, Where The River Ends, says, "This river has taught me a good bit. Probably why I don't leave here. It winds, weaves, snakes around. Rarely goes the same way twice. But, in the end, it always ends up in the same place and the gift is never the same...It's the journey that matters."

This statement struck me, because I often wonder where my life is heading. I feel as if I am aimlessly floating through, being carried along by the current of my circumstances. Maybe that is okay. My destination is the same, no matter what this life brings. What matters is who I become along the way.

In regards to my infertility, I have often wondered, "why me?". However, if I take a look around I can find others asking a similar question about their circumstance, "why did my mom die, why do I have cancer, why are we poor?" Our individual roads wind, weave and snake around. No two are the same. In the end, they lead to the same place, but each journey is unique. Every part of it a gift, an opportunity. Only God knows the why, but He can be trusted to walk us through and bring us home.

Parallel Universe

2010-05-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

Science fiction has been asking about the possibility of a parallel universe for decades. I believe there is one, but it may not be what they think. The parallel is between the earthly and the spiritual. Scripture tells us of it in Colossians 2:16-17, when it says that the religious festivals were a shadow of the things to come; the reality of which is found in Christ. Hebrews 8:5 says that the earthly tabernacle is a copy and shadow of what is in heaven. There is a definite parallel between the earthly and the heavenly.

I have found this to be personally true as well. Many of the challenges I face in this life lead me to a spiritual revelation and growth. I also see spiritual applications in ordinary items and events.

Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12). This is why the power of prayer is so important. You can put your armor on the horse, but the victory belongs to the Lord (Psalm 21:31).

Free Will

2010-04-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

There is an age old theological debate about whether man has free will. I can not answer that for you, but to say God's word indicates that God is sovereign and man is responsible for his actions. What I want to do is bring this debate to a more elementary level. We are always claiming our freedom and even demanding it, but refuse to take responsibility for it. We want the cake without the calories.

When asked how things are going, what is the number one response of people in America? Busy. Then they go on to list a whole page of things they are doing and act as if life has swept them up into all this without their consent. On the contrary, I declare it to be a matter of choice. There may be a few exceptions, but I would have you consider that even those were the result of an earlier choice.

Our nation does like bailouts. The American people, not just the government have become quite good at it. We get ourselves in a bind and then find something else to blame. We look for the easy way out, instead of digging in. We complain and act mystified when our inner life, our relationships, our work, etc. all suffer.

God has the right to intervene and He uses all things for our good, but I think it is time that we take responsibility for our part as well. God is a covenant God and a covenant is a reciprocal agreement.

Missing The Forest For The Trees

2010-04-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

How sad to be so close...and yet so far away. That is what I feel after listening to AJ Jacobs speech on his new book, The Year of Living Biblically. Before he wrote the book he was a self declared agnostic. Now, he considers himself a reverent agnostic. He spent a year trying to live out the Bible literally. He immersed himself in the Bible and other religious books. Though he came out changed a bit, he did not find the truth.

I immediately thought of John 5:39-40, which says, "You diligently study the scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life." AJ Jacobs, much like the Pharisees missed the gospel in the midst of being religious. The scriptures are there to point us to Christ, that through Him we may find life. True life is not found in our actions, but in our hearts from which our actions come.

Why do so many settle for rules, when abundant grace is offered? Maybe because pride is a cruel task master and so easily disguised. Or maybe as C.S. Lewis put it, they go on making mud pies in the slum because they do not know what an offer of a holiday at the sea means. Grace is by no means a ticket to sin, but rather offers the hope of something better through Christ, who has the power to save us.

It is my prayer that this man and others will come to understand the mystery and find the one who is eternal life.

Destination Unknown

2010-03-29T10:17:00.001-07:00

The other day as I was reading scripture and praying, I came across something of interest. The previous day I had read how Enoch had walked with God and then was taken up. On this particular day it was Noah's turn. He was described as walking with God also. We know from his story that this resulted in he and his family being the only ones saved from a world wide flood. I decided I wanted to walk with God. But what exactly does that mean? Not having a ready answer for that one, I asked God to show me what it meant. Now, I believe in prayer and was confident God would answer, but I never expected Him to do it so soon. Literally within minutes He answered!

After I prayed for God to show me, a different thought came to my mind and in response, my next stop was Micah 6:8. There it was again! It talks about walking humbly with God. OK, I had to know what that word walk meant. I headed to an Old Testament word study book to find out. This is what I came across. The Hebrew word, Halakah means to walk, go, come. "Used of human locomotion undertaken without any suggestion of a definite destination". It is also figuratively used to denote ones lifestyle or relationship with God, but the first definition is what grasped my attention. No definite destination. So, that is it. Walking with God means staying with Him step by step, following without knowing where He is taking us. It is about trust. And as Micah said, it takes humility to do so.

This struck home with me, because I am always searching for God's big purpose in my life, so I can know where we are going. Admittedly there is also some arrogance in thinking if I know the destination I can give God a hand. Ah, but He does not share His glory with another! How foolish I have been and how good God is to show me! And to show me so quickly! Though in all reality, this is a lesson long coming. Now, if I can just obey.;)

The Lord is beckoning you to come unto Him. Will you follow to destinations unknown? It will be worth the trip, I promise.

Unopened Gift

2010-03-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

Not opening a gift you have been given seems silly. Why wouldn't you? Who doesn't want the joy of discovering what is inside? And yet, as Christians we do that very thing. God has given us an incredible gift6 of salvation in Christ. We are thankful for it, but then we leave it much the same way we received it. We fail to open it up and really see what is inside, what it means for our daily living and so we miss out on the joy of discovering the life we were meant to have.

The beauty of this gift, is that it keeps on giving! Have you ever had someone give you little gifts, or clues that lead up to the big gift? That is how I would describe what God has given us. He constantly reveals himself to us one clue at a time, as we need Him or can comprehend Him. Each time, He gives us a little more until one day we will fully know Him. The gift is really Himself.

We don't have to live defeated lives. The victory is already ours. It is in us. The key is surrendering to it. One of the great paradox's of Jesus. We must lose to win! I for one am going to keep opening those clues and finding the One I have been longing for. The One who has been right here all along. Lord, give me eyes to see!

A Lost Boy

2010-03-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

OK, I am half way through the second book by Dave Pelzer. It is hard to put down, because I am so interested in what happens to him next. Will his life get worse or will there be a happy ending? One thing I do know, it is teaching me a lot about foster kids and why they behave as they do. It is challenging my preconceived ideas.

He did bad things, but he wasn't a bad kid. Yes, there is a difference. At twelve he did not know how to process and deal with all that had happened to him. He was confused. He cried out for help, but the adults just didn't know how to help him. So, he retreated inside himself and looked for pleasure and acceptance the only way he knew how.

Foster parenting is not for everyone. It takes a special person to be able to help these kids. It is more than just meeting their physical needs, it is meeting their emotional needs too. I am not sure I am equipped for such a task, but we shall see.

A child called "it"

2010-03-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the story of David Pelzer, in his book, A Child Called "it". He was severly abused by his mother, before being removed and placed in foster care. I have just started his second book, which is the years after being removed from his home. It is disturbing that such abuse happens. How could anyone do such horrid things to a child?

As I laid down to sleep I asked God why he allowed such things. He responded by bringing to mind Romans 1:18-32. Mankind has chosen. They have exchanged the glory of God for a lie, not thinking it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God. As a result, God gave them over to a depraved mind to do what ought not to be done. Ironic isn't it, that we demand our own way and then curse God when He gives it to us.

God is not a liar, and His word says that we will reap what we sow. So, when you look at the world today do not be surprised by what you see. It is the consequences of our rebellion and pride, thinking that we are wiser than God, the creator of heaven and earth.

Thinking about these lost children made me wonder why I desire so much to bring another life into this world, when there are so many who need a home. Why am I so worried about achieving something big, when I can help someone else achieve, or at least live? It always seems to come back to self, my desire for comfort and ease and believing that this world is it. Oh, that I would exhibit the nature of my Savior! He gave it all up, so that I might live.

Training

2010-03-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

Today as I was jogging on the treadmill, I had a thought. I was considering doing the Freedom Run, a 5k, this summer. The last time I ran it I decided endurance was more my taste, rather than the fast, sprint until you throw up race. So, do I really want to do that again? Then it came to me. I will do the necessary training and then just enjoy the race. If my training allows me to win, great. But if it does not, then I will have the joy of being there. I am sure you ultra competitive types are rolling your eyes, or worse about now. However, life is too short to make yourself miserable, especially when all you get at the finish is a medal no one else cares about. I am really just in it for the t-shirt any way, and everyone who participates gets one! I am not saying we shouldn't have goals, but keeping life in perspective is key.

Once I got that situated in my mind, 1 Timothy 4:7b - 8 came to mind. It says, "...rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." We can't expect to bear fruit (good works) for God without putting in the training, any more than I can expect to run well without putting in the miles on the road. The former is infinitely more valuable than the latter, but I believe my philosophy works well for both. So often we get caught up in the fruit bearing and end up with burnout because we have not trained adequately. Rather, I suggest that if we will put in the godly training of praying and studying God's Word we will be ready and able to enjoy the fruit that comes forth. And it will be fruit produced by the Holy spirit and with the strength of Christ. Fruit that will energize us rather than drain us. And we will take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of us; we will win the prize.

Suffering

2010-03-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

Visiting my nieces and coming home with a cold has made me ponder the idea of suffering in scripture. I had no problem suffering with a cold for the sake of visiting my nieces. I love them so much and they are so precious to me, that I considered it worth the sacrifice. So, why am I always asking God to make my life comfortable and shocked when he asks me to suffer for His sake? There is no one greater or more worthy of my willingness to suffer on their behalf. Plus, God's purpose is always for my ultimate good. May Jesus become so precious to me that I consider suffering for Him worth it.

Unexpected Winter

2010-03-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well, this winter was not exactly what I expected, though you probably got that from the title. Florida was still nice, but it was much colder than the previous year. I didn't get as much beach time as I would have liked, though my skin thanks me. We also had the unexpected trip back to Indiana at Christmas to be with Michael's family. His brother was in the hospital and it did not look good. Praise God he is doing good now! So, we got two weeks in the cold and snow after all.

It was just a different feel this year. I am finding that with a lot of things in my life. I have an amazing time, so I do it again. But the second time just isn't as fun. I guess that is why I am always looking for something new. I have known this about myself for a while really. In college I loved my job as I was implementing a new system, but once it was up and running I lost interest. I love to try new recipes, which sometimes perplexes my husband. He wants to know why I can't just make the ones he knows he likes. My response is I might find something even better. And how would he have known he liked the others if I hadn't tried them first at some point.

Our cruise was great. I finally got the 85 degree weather I had been wanting. We saw some of the most beautiful beaches. The water was an amazing blue color. I got to dress up fancy. Michael didn't complain about dressing up too much. We went zip lining through the rain forest and I got to jewelry shop. Oh there was one problem. Michael had an allergic reaction one night after dinner. He began having trouble breathing and his eyes swelled up. It was pretty scary. I would wake up periodically through out the night to see if he was still breathing. He recovered in a day or two.

The only downside of the cruise is realizing my age. It was bad enough when I stopped getting carded (thank you wrinkles), but now I can't stay up past my bedtime! The first cruise we ever went on was in 1999 and we stayed up late and got up early. We didn't want to miss a thing. This time I chose bed over the night life. If I didn't I would have sleep walked through the next day. I actually looked forward to the sea days, so I could rest. I needed a vacation after my vacation!

Why is it that the return home from a great vacation always has to bring you back to reality with a thud? When we got back to our camper, we found the battery dead, which meant among other things the fridge was off. And yes, the food was spoiled. Oh, and did I mention it was pouring down rain outside? And that it was cold? So, we had to move the camper, to the park where we were to stay, in the rain. Then once we got set up, we had the task of cleaning out the freezer. Ugh! At this point I must brag on my husband. He was great! He did the bulk of cleaning.

Our next stop was Oregon. We again left the camper in Florida and flew, only this time we cleaned out the fridge before we left. :) When we arrived at my brothers, we found my niece, Malia, home with the flu. Kendall had a cold too. But we had come 2000 miles to spend time with my beloved nieces, so we got some airborne and dove in. Despite the sickness, we had a great time. And I didn't get hit with it until the day before we left. Despite my best efforts, I got sick. A nasty bug causing a sore throat, major drainage and a horrible cough. How can someone so little give me such a big bug? But I didn't care, it was worth being with them.

Our original plan was to spend a few more days in Florida before we started back to Indiana. However, our computer crashed and I was too sick to visit with anyone. So, we decided to head for home. We normally take two days, but when we stopped for the night it was too cold to dry dock and too late to find a camp ground. Our only choice was to keep going. We got Michael a coffee and on we went. Twenty hours and we arrived at our door step. I can't believe we actually did it. Not sure we want to do it again. But home we are.

Purpose

2010-01-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

My brother-in-law, Mark, was in the hospital recently and it made me reflect on man's purpose. You see, Mark is mentally handicapped and we often wonder if people like him have a purpose on this earth. We wonder why God leaves them here to suffer.

As I watched Mark's child like faith I realized that Mark's understanding my be simple, but he is bolder than most of us in sharing about his relationship with God and believing in the power of prayer. We could learn a lot from his simple faith.

We look for purpose in what we do, but that is not where God looks. God's purpose is to draw us to Himself. Our calling is to believe and obey. Our relationship with Him is what gives our life purpose. How God uses that to fulfill His plan is up to Him.

What is wrong with this picture?

2010-01-10T10:31:00.000-08:00

I am just wondering what is wrong with a society that keeps treating symptoms rather than the cause? Are we so blind, that we can't see what is really going on? Or it is just selfishness or laziness or... ?

It has just struck me odd how many people I know that are taking some kind of depression or anxiety medicine. I am not saying they don't need it, the question is why they need it. There must be something wrong with the way we are living. Too much on our plate? Too many expectations? Too little peace?

Maybe we have exchanged the knowledge of God for a lie. Our "Christian Nation" has turned aside from the One who gives peace and we are now reaping the consequences of what we have sown. Hmm...

Tears

2009-12-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

Why do we have such a hatred for tears, such a disdain for the act of crying? It is a God given response to emotion. Maybe it isn't the tears we fear, but the emotion behind them and the weakness it reveals.

But again I ask, what is wrong with weakness? Paul said he would gladly boast about his weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest upon him (2 Cor. 12:9). It is precisely when we are weak that we become strong, by the grace of God.

When we get something in our eye, it tears to wash the object away. I believe crying is much the same concept. It cleanses. It gives voice to our soul when words fail us.

I am by nature a cryer, as is my mother before me. This bothered me for a long time. Though I still find it inconvenient at times, I no longer fight against it like I once did. Not since I came back from the other side.

You see, I got to that point where the tears stopped and numbness set in. I merely existed. My soul was barren, like a dessert hardening from lack of rain. I had succeeded in getting rid of the feeling of pain, but lost love and joy in the process.

At the recognition of my condition, I cried out to God and He answered me with His grace. Christ, the living water, who dwells within me, sprang forth from the deep and became an oasis for my parched soul. As I began to drink deeply my soul was revived. I was strengthened and decided to join life again, even with the risks it presents.

So, it is no longer the tears that I fear, but rather the lack of them.

The Jetson's: Truth or Fiction?

2009-12-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you too young to remember the Jetson's, complete with Elroy, ask your parents. For the rest of you, ponder this question. Was the idea of the Jetson's so far fetched?

On of the things I remember most about the cartoon, besides them riding in flying cars, was the way they got ready in the morning. Do you remember? They rode a conveyor belt that took them through a shower and closet. They were washed, rinsed, clothed and styled. All done automatically, without them lifting a finger. How cool was that!

Well, I hadn't thought of the Jetson's in years, OK, a decade or two. But that isn't the point. The point is I hadn't thought of them until the other day when I went to the bathroom at a recreation center here in Florida. Upon exiting the stall I went to wash my hands. What I came upon was the key to all this remembrance. There in the wall were three "sinks". Really more like fancy holes in the wall. No faucets. With no other ready option, I stuck my hands into a hole. Immediately soap was dispensed, followed by water and then hot air. All dispensed automatically for the proper allotted time period. My hands were practically washed for me! All I had to do was rub them together. Who knows, in the future it might do that for me too! What will they think of next?

Turtles

2009-12-21T05:54:00.001-08:00

Unexpected delight. The simple joys of nature. As strange as it may seem, this is what I experienced watching a pair of turtles in a pond at an outdoor mall.

Two beautiful swans drew us to the pond initially, but once at the edge looking down we discovered the turtles. At first, they were a mere passing interest, but they soon captured our attention.

Michael thinks their behavior was some kind of mating ritual. I, however, think it was a mother and her baby playing, especially since one was twice the size of the other. Either way, they were fun to watch.

The scene went something like this. The smaller turtle would swim up behind the larger one and then circle around to the front until they were face to face. At this point the smaller one would reach out its front legs and touch the other turtle's face. This of course brought about a reaction. The larger turtle would shudder and quickly retreat. The small one would again swim up behind the larger one and the dance would begin again in exactly the same fashion. This was repeated over and over while we watched.

I imagined it was a child trying to get its momma to play. Peek-a-boo maybe? Whatever the purpose, it was cute. Maybe you just had to be there. :)

Vultures

2009-12-13T16:03:00.000-08:00

Michael and I were driving a load of brush to the burn pile. As we approached he noticed quite a few vulture lingering around. we found out why when we got to the other side of the pile. A dead raccoon lay at the feet of a vulture.

All but one of the vultures scattered when we arrived. The one who stayed was either brave or stupid, but either way he got the spoils.

The vulture is not considered a noble bird, but we can learn a lesson from its place in nature. For instance, not all humans lead glamorous lives either, but we are all important. All of God's creation has purpose. The vulture seems to have figured this out.

Manatee Sighting

2009-12-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

As Michael and I were going to work (at Lover's Key State Park) the other day, we were discussing the likelihood of there being any manatees in the canal. There are viewing areas in the park, but we didn't see any the month we were here last year. I admit, I was a doubter. But within days was changed to a believer.

Not two days later as we were again on our way to work, Michael spotted movement in the canal. We stopped to check it out and sure enough there they were! Two manatees just barely surfacing for air. I wasn't all that impressed. All we saw was a couple gray bumps break the surface. I couldn't really see them. Work was calling, so we moved on.

An hour or two later we had to go back to the shop for more supplies (we aren't expert labor, just cheap). We stopped at the spot where we saw the manatees to see if we could get another glimpse. We did. This time there appeared to be several of them and they were more active. They quickly moved beyond our view, so we headed for the next view point. We were hoping to get a better view and we were not disappointed. This time, the manatees came right up to the bank, in full view! It was a group consisting of a medium size one and a large on with four smaller ones sticking close to its side, possibly a mom and babies.

Manatees are not long on good looks, at least conventionally speaking, but a sight to behold any way. For they are a part of God's grand design in nature; a wonder to be enjoyed. And enjoy the moment I did! That day we also saw a turtle, snake, butterfly and dolphins.

That very morning I had given the day to God and in response He showed me part of His wonders. Does that mean everyday will be so blessed if I surrender to Him ? No. Or does it? Maybe He shows us wonders everyday, we simply fail to see them because we live life unaware. May we pray for eyes that see and learn to live expectantly.

Trouble In Paradise

2009-12-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

The sun, the sand...what could possibly be wrong? Bugs! When one is covered in red, itchy welts it tends to cloud ones view. Is there anything more irritating than constantly having to swat at biting bugs while trying to work? OK, maybe scraping ice and snow off your car when wanting to go somewhere. :)

It rained today which intensified the no seeums (spelling?). We worked for an hour and then conceded to the bugs and went indoors. They come out every evening about dusk, but that is OK, because the work day is done and it gives up plenty of leisure time in the evening.

I really shouldn't complain, considering the beauty of our surroundings and the fact that we get to enjoy it. Besides, if it was paradise here on earth we wouldn't eagerly look forward to heaven! Not to mention the fact that, Lord willing, we will have plenty of sunny days in the next couple months to enjoy.

I Am Free... Now What?

2009-11-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

It is difficult to put spiritual things in earthly terms, but I will try. October 31, 2009 is a day to remember. Maybe not for the rest of the world, but for me it was the day I was set free. I had been held captive in a prison of my own making, in a cage without bars. I was a prisoner of my mind.

You see, it is much like the story of the captive elephant. He is kept from escaping by a mere string tied to his leg. One hard tug and the string would break, but the elephant never tries. Why? Because he was conditioned to believe he couldn't. As a baby he was tied with a chain. Over and over he tried to break it, but could not. He finally quit trying. The chain was no longer necessary.

This is my story as well. I had been free all along, I just didn't know it. When I accepted Christ I was set free, but over time hard circumstances, the lies of Satan and the world's view conditioned me to believe otherwise.

Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to the pattern of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to attest that God's will is pleasing and perfect". This was my path to freedom. I faithfully read scripture and prayed for belief. (Yes, there is a difference between knowing about God and believing Him.) In God's time, he answered and just as John 8:32 says, The Truth set me free! I am free to live and love for God.

Will I never doubt? I doubt it (pun intended). But I am trusting in the one who lifted me out of the mud and mire and set my feet on solid ground to keep me there.

So, where do I go from here? I wonder if this is what released convicts feel like? There is joy in being free, but now what? How do I live out this new found freedom? I guess only time will tell and every journey begins with one step and then another. Maybe I will quit striving for something out there and go with what I've got. I will choose to live in the moment, laugh often and love well. Carpe Diem!

The Good Life

2009-10-13T12:54:00.000-07:00

What is the definition of the good life? I don't have all the answers, but I can tell you what it is not. It is not the American dream, or antidepressants would not be so highly prescribed in our great nation. I have found happier people living in dirt huts with little to their name. So, what is it we are looking for? And where can it be found? It is not in fancy houses, cars, or world travel. All those things are nice, but they lack the ability to bring contentment.

I am convinced, the good life does not exist in any thing, but rather is a person. He is the way, the truth and the life. This person is Jesus Christ and only in Him will we find fulfillment. We put an undue burden on nouns. They were never intended to do what only He can. Rather, they were given by Him for our enjoyment. The proverbial icing on the cake.

Contentment is not the absence of turmoil, but peace in the midst of it. Life was not meant to be found in our circumstances, but lived through them. I read a saying recently than hits the point home for me. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain".

So, where can life be found? Matthew 10:39, "He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for my sake will find it".

Today

2009-10-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

Fall is our favorite time of the year, the best time, in Indiana. It brings wonderful temperatures, and brilliant colors. The colors are beginning to change, but the temperature has been cold and it has rained a lot. Just this morning I was lamenting to Michael how disappointed I am in fall this year and then we had today. So I must repent, at least for today.

Today was pleasantly warm and sunny. A great day to be outside and we were. We had a great day of visiting with a college friend and watching baseball. It really was a perfect day.

I will give fall another chance and maybe it will surprise me again with its warmth and wonder. I can hope!

National Parks

2009-10-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

Tell me, how come millions of people flock to a place that smells like rotten eggs? It is a mystery, but worth the visit to find out. This was my third. We had two beautiful days at Yellowstone. We drove all over the park looking at and smelling sulfur springs, watching geysers, and enjoying glimpses of wildlife. It is a must see for anyone who loves the outdoors and the variety God's creation displays. Yellowstone is full of natural wonders that amaze me. And the blue color of many of the springs is incredible.

From Yellowstone we ventured south to the Grand Tetons. The weather was not so great, but we were still awed by the grandeur of the mountains. And we got to see moose! The bull remained allusive, but the females were impressive in their own right. As we were heading out of the park in afternoon, the rain stopped and the clouds began to lift. I just stared at the mountains as we drove by and they seemed to come alive. Like they had a personality and were trying to tell me something. So, I wondered, "What secrets do they hold?". Then, they began to "tell" me of the majesty of God. They display His power, His joy in creating such vast beauty and variety. They told me of God's love for me, that I am His beloved and He adores me. He created such wonders for me to enjoy. They spoke to my heart about the desire to share that love and beauty with others. Ephesians 2:10 came to mind, where we are called God's masterpiece. Wow! As grand as the Tetons are, they are not God's crowning achievement. We are! We truly are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139).

Our final park was the Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. This was probably our favorite and one I would like to return to again. The drive through the mountains is amazing and there are many hiking trails to pursue. We also got some great viewing opportunities of Elk behavior. Two young males were practicing their fighting and we got to watch them lock antlers. We also saw a bull chasing around the girls in his harem. The most exciting part was when another bull came too close and we almost had a show down. It is still exciting just recalling it in my mind.

Of course, a trip is not complete without an incident. So, I created the one for us. Well, not intentionally, but it was my doing none the less. We were enjoying Rocky Mt. National Park in our convertible, when we decided to stop at the top of the mountain to hike a trail. It is a little cooler at the higher elevations, so I was putting on my coat and hat. As I was doing so, I set the car keys on the side of the car. When I reached to retrieve them, they slid and fell down the hole next to the open top. Oops! We looked down the hole, but could see nothing but dirt. A search ensued, but to no avail. As we took stock of the situation, it was looking bleak. We were on top of a mountain, no keys and no phone cell reception. As Michael contemplated hitch hiking down the mountain, I began desperately praying for God to help us find the keys! Even though our friend had already been in the back seat looking and I had stuck my hand between the seats, I decided to try again. So in I went. I pulled the bottom seat cushion away from the wall and there they were! I quickly grabbed them, shouted hallelujah and handed them over to Michael for safe keeping. Whew, a near disaster averted! Thank you Jesus! The hike turned out to be great too, by the way.

Home Again

2009-10-01T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well, I think we are home for awhile. I say think, because we came home once and two days later were gone again! When people ask us our plans for the future I simply say I don't know. It is the truth. At this point we live a few months at a time, and apparently days at a time. :) But then none of us really know what tomorrow holds. We can plan all we want, but that doesn't ensure the outcome. So, for now we will enjoy the fall in Indiana, with its colorful trees, hunting season and friends. When you boil it down, it is the simple things that matter most.

Mixed Emotions

2009-09-17T21:26:00.000-07:00

How can one be happy and sad at the same time? It is a mystery, but it is real. I experienced it upon leaving Oregon. I was happy to be returning home to see family and friends in Indiana, but sad at leaving family and friends in Oregon. We had a great summer, met new friends, spent time with old ones, and welcomed a new niece into the family. I may be confused, but I am blessed!

Second Generation

2009-08-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

Even though I have never birthed any kids of my own, I have always felt an ownership to the kids I babysat, mentored or my good friends kids. I have loved them as my own and "mothered" them in a special way.

The other day, I was chatting with my high school youth minister and his wife, when I realized that I am on my second generation of kids. You see, I used to babysit their kids and now their kids are having kids! Does that make me a Grandma?

Perish the thought! But it does make me happy. Isaiah 54:1

To Have Or To Experience?

2009-08-21T14:11:00.000-07:00

People are as diverse and unique as their fingerprints. This is what makes the world such an interesting and at times, aggravating place. I just recently discovered something else that makes us different. Some of us want to have stuff, some want to conquer things and others are just along for the ride (the experience). Now, I admit that no person is exclusively one or the other, but depending on where you fall, it helps determine the choices you make.

I came across this while pondering my life. I have always wondered why I seem to be mediocre at everything and have no drive to be the best. Finishing a marathon was enough for me, I didn't have to win. While others couldn't understand the point in running if I wasn't trying to win. Some women have the same hairstyle their entire life, while mine is always changing. My husband and I have moved roughly 8 times in our 11 years together, while my parents have lived in the same home for 35 years. I have struggled with adoption, while a friend adopted easily. I love to travel to new destinations and try new recipes.

My conclusion is that I desire experience. For me, it isn't about the destination as much as the journey. I want to know what something is like, to experience it with my senses. It is enough for me to have the experience of something, and then be off to the next great adventure. I believe knowing this is a great help in understanding my reactions and decisions, as well as those of the people around me.

Beauty

2009-08-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

Beauty is amazing! It can evoke such strong emotions. We all long for it. And it truly is in the eye of the beholder. There are some things we would all agree are beautiful, but there are other things uniquely beautiful to each person. This is the wonder of God's vast creation. For every unique person, place or thing there is someone to behold it. Beauty is not limited to the eyes, but can be enjoyed by every sense.

I experienced this today as I was jogging. I came upon a field of brightly colored Dahlia's. It was a sight to behold! My eyes saw it, my mind recognized that it was beautiful and my emotions were immediately uplifted. My steps became lighter and a smile spread across my face, for the joy that was welling up inside me. It just made life seem a little sweeter and more hopeful. I praised God for the wonders of His creation and jogged longer than I had intended.

So, stop and smell the roses, go to an art gallery, listen to music, touch a baby or wear something silky and splurge on a good meal. Look for beauty in unlikely places and remember it is more than skin deep.

The Ultimate Reality Show: Our Lives

2009-08-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

I admit that I have watched a bit of Reality TV, but I am not a fan. When Survivor first came out I was intrigued, but then with the onslaught of shows after that, I soon became disenchanted. First of all, it had become the "thing to do" and I guess my Mom made an impact on me with the whole, "If everybody else jumped off a ten story building would you?". I am just not a fad kind of person. Second, I failed to see the "reality" in most of them, even Survivor, after awhile. Lets be honest, who can be completely real in front of an audience of millions? I know I find myself acting different if I know someone is watching. And I am sure I would if money was on the line! Some people claim they know it isn't true reality, but it is fun to watch. I am not sure what that says about our society, seeing as the more outrageous the behavior the better the ratings. But, that is not really my point. My point is that our lives here on earth are like being on a Reality TV show. The events that unfold are viewed as the reality, not realizing that we are seeing only a portion of what really happened.

When someones temper gets the best of them, was it really the spilled milk or something deeper? We were not there hours before when bad news was received, there was a disagreement with someone else or stress had been building for days, months or years. What about when we think the situation is just too bad, we can't go on? Is it really that bad, or do we just need a rest? What if we think we are fat, ugly or untalented, but others disagree? Or worse yet, think we are not worthy to receive God's grace? What is the reality of my identity, and how can I know for sure?

If five people see the same traffic accident, you will end up with five different accounts of it. Are some of them lying? Not necessarily, we just see things from a different view. What humans see is subject to their physical surrounding, mental function and emotional state at the time. We see from our point of view, which is why disagreements between people are so common. Remember the saying, "walk a mile in someones shoes"? We do need to consider others views and what might be going on behind the scenes of their lives, but there is more. Our view of reality will always be incomplete until we look at it in the context of the ultimate reality.

There is only One who can tell us the truth of this ultimate reality and blend it with our lives. It is, of course, the living God through His Word and Holy Spirit. As we read the Bible, it becomes clear that there is a greater reality than what meets the eye. There is a spiritual realm (Ephesians 1:3, 2:6, 6:12). We are given a glimpse into this other world in 2 Kings 6:17, when Elisha prays and the LORD opens the eyes of the servant. There on the hills were horses and chariots of fire all around them, ready to fight on their behalf. What happens in the spiritual realm has an effect on our realities, yours and mine. The Bible is full of physical examples that explain greater spiritual realities (Hebrews 8:5). God uses what we can relate to to make known His mysteries.

So, though what we can see, hear and touch is our current reality, it is incomplete. There is a truer and greater reality that is beyond our senses. Knowing this will help us interpret our current situations, as well as give us hope for the future. That is why 2 Corinthians 4:18 tells us, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.". One day this world as we know it will end and the spiritual reality will be ushered in with the return of our Lord and Savour, Jesus Christ. Then we shall know fully, even as we are fully known (1 Corinthians 13:8-12). To Him be the glory forever and ever, amen!

Rafting The Deschutes

2009-07-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

Well, another successful rafting trip. It was much like the other one, with me experiencing the joy of being dumped, but in a new location. This time we were on the Deschutes River in Central Oregon.

We went with Discovery Outfitters, a Christian outdoor adventure group, that is a ministry of Canby Grove Conference Center. They present Christ while enjoying His creation. We were blessed to have been able to go on a trip with them.

It was a great day for rafting. Hot! But, the near frigid river water kept us perfectly cooled. If we weren't being splashed by a wave, we were being soaked by the other raft. I must admit, that our boat was the instigator for most of the water warfare.

This time I successfully stayed in the raft through all the rapids. That is, when we went through them normally. However, when we returned to box car to "surf" it, I wasn't so lucky. Upon entering the hole of the rapid, the right front of the raft rose up, the person sitting on that side fell back into the raft. I, of course, was on the left front, down side of the raft and fell into the water. I quickly bobbed to the surface, no worse for wear except a bit of water up my nose. The raft, however, was already a distance away. I quickly looked around for my paddle, because we were told not to lose them. The guide was motioning me to swim towards the raft, which meant swimming across the current. I tried, but have you ever tried to swim with a life jacket on, while holding a paddle in one hand? Impossible! At this point Michael looked concerned. As I surveyed my surroundings, I found out why. I was fast approaching two boulders down stream. I decided to abandon my swim toward the raft and get in river safety position, with feet forward. Upon approach I pushed the paddle in front of me, gently pushed off the right boulder with my feet and sent myself shooting through the middle of the two rocks. As I exited on the other side, I grabbed the paddle again (I didn't want to get in trouble for losing it) and looked for the raft. It was straight ahead, down stream this time. Just then, they threw a rope to me. I grabbed hold and was soon at the raft, being hoisted aboard.

Between rapids, there was time for swimming, floating down a small rapid and enjoying a break for lunch (Michael's favorite part). I also got brave enough to "ride the bull" on a smaller section of rapids. This consists of standing on the bow of the raft, hanging on to a rope for balance. It is kind of like water skiing over really big wakes. I actually managed to stay on.

It was a successful trip and a lot of fun. Even the long drive was enjoyable, as we got to know one another and swap stories.

Canada, eh!

2009-07-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

Well, we have safely made it to Oregon. We weren't sure if our truck would make it over the mountains pulling the fifth wheel, but it did. It helped that we lightened the load along the way. By the time we got to the Rockies, our pockets were pretty well empty due to gas prices and the fact we only get about 7 miles to the gallon. No matter, the memories are priceless. At least that is the line Mastercard tries to feed us, in order to get us to spend more so they can fill their pockets. And who is going to pay for other people's memories anyway? Oh sorry, am I getting a little cynical?

On to the trip. We started with a visit to friends near Meaford, Ontario. The scenery is beautiful, their home lovely and their hospitality excellent. It was a relaxing and enjoyable time. Next, we attended a conference where we were challenged to deny self and live to glorify God. Then it was westward on the transcanada highway for 10 days.

Canada has some spectacular scenery, from the waters of lake Superior to the Mountains of the Rockies. We enjoyed hiking and viewing the mountains, canyons and waterfalls.

On July first we celebrated Canada Day in Winnipeg with festival activities. The weather was perfect. We also enjoyed a day in the city of Regina touring the training depot for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

It was a good trip, but we are happy to be in Oregon visiting family.

Deer In The Headlights

2009-07-09T13:14:00.000-07:00

Driving across Canada gives one lots of time to think, and since the mind can only be occupied rationally for so long, this is what follows.

There is much wildlife in Canada, even along the highway. We saw a porcupine, elk, prairie dogs, a moose and lots of deer. One day, we came upon two deer standing in the road. I assume they were crossing the road to get to the other side, because the grass is always greener there. :) At any rate, as we approached Michael slowed down, but they did not move. They just stood and stared. Finally, the honk of the horn scared them across.

Driving on, I began to think about why the deer don't run from an approaching vehicle. I would be hightailing it if I were them. Don't they know they could get killed? I tried to think what goes through a deers mind as it stands there looking at an approaching vehicle. Does it wonder what that strange thing is and what it means? Can deer comprehend? As humans, we are taught what a car is, its function and its danger. A deer however is not. As Michael pointed out, the ones that are taught, by experience, never live to tell the others.

So, I should not be surprised when a deer stands in the middle of the road as a large, metal missile barrels down at them. And really, are we humans any different? Unless we directly know a thing is dangerous, we wait to see what will happen. And even then, we sometimes hesitate to move.

Rafting The Ocoee

2009-06-06T17:29:00.000-07:00

We were like sailors on the high seas, dodging danger at every turn. OK, so that might be a little too dramatic, but it was an adventure to remember. Michael and I, along with another couple, ventured to Cleveland, TN to raft the whitewater of the Ocoee River.

I was a little nervous about the trip; not because of the class IV & V rapids or the fact you have to wear a helmet (a sure sign of danger), but because I had chosen the river. If anything went wrong and someone got hurt, or it was a bust, I would feel responsible.

The day, however, dawned bright and continued to shine upon us as we traversed the rapids. It was a sunny, warm day, without a cloud in the sky. A perfect day to be out on the river. The sun was especially appreciated after a wave of frigid water came splashing over the raft.

We traveled a total of ten miles on the river, with a stop half way to refuel. We needed snacks to recharge our paddling engines. The Ocoee has plenty of rapids, including a section used for the 1996 Olympic games. That section was particularly memorable for me, but more on that later. As well as fast and furious, we also has a couple of sections of smooth water. In the afternoon, we came upon just such a place and took a dip. It was great! We floated lazily along with the aid of our PDF's (personal flotation device for you rookies). It was relaxing and refreshing.

That was not the first dip I had taken though. Which, brings me back to the Olympic section of the river. Before beginning our voyage that day, we were told that section of the river was the most treacherous and that people lined the banks to watch the carnage.

At the first big plunge, I was tossed about. My foot hold gave way and I felt myself falling overboard. There was no stopping it. I remembered my safety training and as I went over, I grabbed for the perimeter rope. I caught it and assumed the swimmers position just as we hit another rapid. With water splashing me in the face, someone grabbed my paddle. As the water settled a little, I realized my mates were reaching for my PDF. I turned toward the raft. The first attempt to hoist me in failed. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that ice cream that night before! Actually, don't rely on a woman your same size to be able to pull you in. On the second attempt, Michael and her husband joined in and it was successful! I flew into the boat and was quickly back up front in my position.

The whole ordeal probably only lasted 30 seconds to a minute, but it was a thrill none the less. A nice bit of excitement to add to the fun, since I came away from it unscathed. If I had been smashed between the raft and the approaching rocks, I am sure I would think otherwise. There were others on different rafts who did not receive such a speedy rescue. They bobbed along like a pin ball until their boat was able to reach them.

It was a great time and we are looking forward to returning for another round next year. Anyone want to join us?

P.S. You can check out their website at noc.com

You'll Like Linton

2009-05-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

You'll Like Linton is our town motto. Is it true? Will you like Linton? It all depends on what you see. Our contentment with something rests not so much on the object, but on how we perceive it. We may not be able to choose everything that happens to us, but we can choose how we respond. In Philippians chapter four, Paul says that he learned to be content in any and every situation, whether in plenty or in want. What was the key to His contentment? He saw it through the eyes of faith in Christ Jesus. "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." (Phil. 4:13)

I wonder if this truth relates to God's will as well. Scripture gives us His general and moral will for our lives, which is to be followed by everyone. To love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as our self. To be conformed to the likeness of His Son, Jesus. But what about an individual will? What am I to do with my life? Is His will something to be sought out and accomplished, or is it simply where we are? Living each day by faith in Christ. Following our desires, but trusting in God when those desires go unfulfilled.

My senior year in college, I told God I would go wherever he sent me. I assumed I would be off to Africa on some mission. Instead, I ended up in Linton, Indiana. The promised land? It may not have been half way across the world, but it was a culture shock none the less. After almost 13 years, I have adjusted quite well. Every place has its pros and cons. Do I like Linton? Yes. I have been to more beautiful places and I have been to worse, but this is home. This is where my life is.

It was good to come back after four plus months away and see all the familiar sights still there, even if that means a few eye sores too. It was nice to be welcomed back by friends and family. It didn't take long to realize we belong here. The allure of moving to Europe still beckons at certain moments, especially as I think of the needs. But then I look around my own town and see needs here as well. As long as there are people, there will be needs. And after all, maybe that is what it is all about anyway.

Seasons

2009-04-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

We live in what can be called the shadow lands. For the reality of earth and the things in it are a shadow of the truer reality in heaven. The Bible is filled with examples such as, the tabernacle, the sacrificial system, and the parables. I see examples of it in modern life as well. Things of earth pointing to a spiritual truth. This year, I have seen it in the seasons.

The changing of the seasons is a gradual process, that if we are not careful can be missed. Summer fades into fall, with hardly a notice. We wake up one morning to snow and ice and wonder where summer has gone. Fall is full of grandeur to be sure. The flaming colors of trees as their leaves change are a sure sign, but how many times have we been so busy that we hardly notice until the last few leaves are falling to the ground. Winter is upon us and there seems to be no end in sight. Will spring ever arrive? Though winter may seem like a lifetime, spring does come with complete faithfulness. Nature is brought back to life once again. The trees bud, flowers bloom, and the warmth returns. We can frolic in the summer sun once more.

This spring has held special meaning for me. As the trees awakened from their winter slumber and began to bud, so God began to awaken my heart to the hope of new life. Fall had gradually come upon me over the years, until my soul found itself in the dead of winter, barren and lifeless. Summer was gone and with it, the joy of who I used to be.

Over the past few years, there have been moments when the sun would come out and I could see, but then the clouds would move in. It was like a warm, sunny day in January. It teases you and then leads to disappointment as the cold settles in again. I had come to accept this winter as normal, the way life is and I stopped looking for spring. I had lost hope. God had not.

Just as spring returns every year, God is faithful. He began working even before I could see the first glimmer of hope. He opened my eyes to my need, to the place where my hope resides, in Him. He has given me the will to fight for my heart. Renewal will take time and effort, but I am confident that in time I will see the glory of the Lord in my life. For Christ came that we might Have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).

Return from Germany

2009-04-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

We have arrived home safely from our trip to Germany, for which we are very thankful. It was a wonderful opportunity, filled with amazing sites and people. After three weeks, I began to feel more at ease with the language and cultural differences. It is an experience that will forever be woven into the tapestry of my life. God has already used it and will continue to reveal more as the days ahead unfold.

The first two weeks were spent teaching kids, or in some cases, being taught by them. These were extraordinary, smart kids. Most of them could speak more than one language. But they were still kids. At times, they made me laugh, at times they tried my patience, but in the end, they stole my heart. Their parents were amazing people as well.

Ranger Michael was a big hit. They all wanted to wear his ranger hat. He gave an animal talk each day and always had a special skit or trick to show them. The boys loved to jump on him and were always wanting to wrestle. But you could also find them sitting on his lap and giving him hugs.

The first two days in Germany were cold, but sunny. Then, for the next week it rained and snowed. This was rather ironic, considering we went to Florida to escape the cold and snow. I didn't complain though, because it was beautiful, the kids loved it and I didn't have to go out in it. I must admit, that I finally couldn't resist and went out with the kids. We had a blast rolling a huge snow ball and then making it into a cave.

Where there are kids, there are germs. Both Michael and I came down with whatever cold was going around. I had a sore throat and we both had congestion, but God kept our energy up, and it did not turn into anything major.

After the conference, at the Frankfurt train station, we parted ways with our team. They headed to the airport and we to Rothenburg. We spent the next five days traveling around Germany. We had beautiful weather and made it back home without getting lost. A success indeed.

Our first stop was the quaint city of Rothenburg. A walled, medieval city. The weather was cool, but sunny and we enjoyed walking around the city and neighboring area. The night watchman's tour was informative and funny. We were still new at the language thing, and on a walk to a nearby village, we ended up at the water treatment plant. The trees were still bare, but even so, it was a beautiful place. This area of Germany is hilly and in each valley is a village. Rothenburg is on the top of a hill overlooking the Tauber river.

Next, we headed to Bacharach, a village on the Rhine river. The Rhine reminded us of the Columbia River Gorge, with the train running along the river and the sides rising steeply. The Rhine, however, has the added charm of vineyards and castles dotting the landscape along the way. The hotel had bicycles for use, so we rode from Bacharach to St. Goar, stopping every now and then to take a picture of a castle. Once at St. Goar, we hiked up to Reinfels castle and toured the ruins. We hiked all around the ruins, even finding an underground tunnel. Back at Bacharach, we hiked up to the castle there, which is now a youth hostel. The views of the river and villages in the distance are amazing, but by dinner time that day, we were exhausted.

On the way back to Holzhausen, we toured the Marksburg castle. It is a complete and furnished castle, but not as elaborate as Michael wanted to see. We found out that is because it is a fortification, rather than a residence castle.

We spent our final week in Holzhausen with the Luther's, a missionary couple. We enjoyed their hospitality, as they talked with us about the work going on in that part of the world. There is much to be done. The day before we left, they took us to Cochem to see Burg Eltz. We took the tour and this was the type of castle Michael had been looking for. It had actually been the residence for three families at one time. The next day we had a very long flight before finally making it back to Orlando.

I enjoyed my time in Germany, learning about the cultural differences, some of which I really liked. They have coffee and cake every afternoon! It was also fun trying to figure out what words meant. Their eating patterns and food choices are different than ours, but it was OK, because Michael found pizza! Actually, we found pizza to be very popular and pretty good. I feel blessed to have been able to go.

Tschus!

Germany

2009-03-15T18:46:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the day! We have spent the last two days with our team and are packed and ready to go. We are looking forward to this new adventure. We will spend the first two weeks doing VBS, the next week will be some sightseeing and then some more "exploration" work with the missionaries. It will be almost a month before we return home. I plan to share all about it when I return and maybe some while we are there, if I have access and time. If you read this, please pray for us. Thank you.

Snakes, Alligators& More

2009-03-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

Well, we are back in Florida. We had an enjoyable visit with Michael's family in Louisiana, but it was time to return to Orlando. Since our return a few days ago, we have been blessed with several views of wildlife up close.

Our trip from Louisiana to Orlando took two days. We decided to spend the night in the pan handle of Florida, before going on. We stayed at Falling Waters State Park, so named for its 73 foot water fall. It is an unusual water fall. As you view it from ground level, you are looking at the top of the fall. You then watch the water fall downwards into a sink hole. There was not an abundance of water, but it was still unique. It also gave a chance to get out and walk the trails. Upon our return hike, we came into a clearing and when I looked toward the ground, my eyes caught something about 2 or 3 feet away. I looked again, and sure enough, it was a snake! And not just your garden variety. It may have been about that size, but this one was striped. We stopped to look closer and Michael began to recite the poem, "Red on black, friend of Jack; red on yellow, kill a fellow". Guess which one it fit? Yep, it was the killing variety. Michael, of course, wanted to catch it and take it to the ranger. He pinned it down with a stick, but thankfully I couldn't find anything for him to put it in. So, he let it go and off we went. A little ways down the path, Michael asked if I got a picture. Oops! I had been standing there with the camera the whole time, but had been too preoccupied to think about taking a picture. We turned back, found it again and got some pictures. The next morning we showed the ranger and she confirmed it was a poisonous coral snake. It gave me the eebie geebies (not sure if those are real words, or how to spell them), just thinking about what if I had stepped on it.

The day after arriving in Orlando, was a free day for us. So, we decided to head for the beach. Not knowing it was closed, we headed to Cape Canaveral National Seashore. After finding it closed, we turned around at the gate. The trip was not a total waste though, for on the road, not far from the gate we found alligators in the ditch. There were two larger ones and about 4 babies. We were pretty close to them on the road side. They didn't move a muscle at first, they just stared at us. It is amazing how long they can go without moving at all. Finally one of the larger ones disappeared into the den nearby.

We were not to be turned away, we were going to find a beach. We ended up at Jetty Park, right next to the cruise terminals. It is a very nice beach and you can watch the boats come in and go out. The water was an amazing blue color. At one point, we took a walk on the pier. Several people were fishing off the sides. When we reached the end of the pier, a man began to reel in his line. He had something. It turned out to be a turtle! It had swam by and gotten caught. Michael helped the man net it, remove the hook and release it back. After a bit, we headed back down the pier. Nearing the end, we came upon some other fisherman. We stopped to watch a very lazy pelican begging for fish. It was sitting on the cleaning station just waiting for a handout. After a few moments, we decided to move on. Just then, we noticed a small bird dive and retrieve a fish from the water, only to let it go again. About the time I realized it was the fisherman's bate, that lazy pelican swooped in for the kill. It got the fish and the hook too. What do you do with a bird caught on a fishing hook? One of the bystanders graciously offered to go down to the edge of the water and remove it. The fisherman reeled in the bird and the other guy set it free. I hope that bird learned a lesson.

Wow, I think that is enough new experiences for one day!

To Love or Not to Love

2009-03-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

To love or not to love? Love is always the answer. Love is the deepest desire of our hearts, it motivates people to do extraordinary things, it fulfills the law and it is the greatest commandment. I Corinthians 13 tells us that even if we do great and good things, but have not love, they are nothing. John 13:35 says that it is by love that all men will know we are Christ's disciples.

True love is a great treasure, because it is so rare. It is hard to love as Christ loved. Why? Pride, selfishness, laziness... the list could go on. The reasons don't really matter, because the cure is the same for them all. And His name is, Jesus. Apart from Him, we can do nothing, but through Him we can do all things.

Don't misunderstand, love does not happen automatically once you accept Christ. What does happen, is the indwelling of the Spirit, who enables you to love, as you surrender to Him. Love is a decision of the will, based on truth. The decision is one that will change your life, moment by moment, each time you make it.

This past year, I came face to face with such a decision. I was hurt deeply by a trusted friend. It looked as though our relationship was over. And to be honest, there was a part of me that wanted to write her off. As I struggled with what to do, the words of scripture showed me the way. I was not to base my love for her on how I wanted to be loved. I needed to humble myself and love her as Christ loved me. Jesus was betrayed and yet did not retaliate. Jesus loved us while we were still sinners, dying for our sins. So, when my mind wanted to replay the scenes, I began to take the thoughts captive, refusing to dwell on them. I chose instead to think on truths of scripture and to forgive. It was not easy and took time, but God was faithful and has restored the relationship.

God is in the transforming business and love is the tool of His trade. His love for us and through us turns mourning into dancing, despair into gladness, and sets captives free. How will you choose to answer the question, to love or not to love?

Mardi Gras

2009-02-27T13:52:00.000-08:00

After leaving Orlando, we made it to Slidell, Louisiana. While there, we visited friends and lent a helping hand (It was really rough, I had to play and cuddle with an adorable 14 month old!). We had a great time and they even treated us to homemade pizza!

It was also Mardi Gras time, so we joined in the festivities and went to a couple parades. Now, they know how to do a parade! It was my first experience with Mardi Gras parades and I loved it. I jumped right in with everyone else, trying to grab beads, boas, and stuffed animals. It is really a matter of self defense. If you aren't looking and catching things, you will get beamed in the head. And some of the bigger beads hurt.

Michael and I were amazed at the quantity of stuff they threw. New Orleans evidently isn't aware of the recession. They threw beads by the fist full. They threw so many, that a lot of beads ended up strewn on the roadside. Along with empty bags and whatever other trash they had.

The floats were neat too. They were much more elaborate and bigger than anything back home. They were double decker, and lit up at night. In between each float was a marching band from one of the schools.

The first parade we went to was a night parade in Slidell. The next day, we went to the French Quarter. We walked around watching the street performers and people throwing beads from their balconies. We, of course, had to stop at Cafe Du Monde for Benets (french doughnuts drenched in powdered sugar). Then, we caught the tail end of a parade on Canal street. It was crazy with people and they were more vicious about getting the beads. The name of that parade was Tucks, so they threw toilet paper and plungers, as well as beads. For the night parade we went farther up Canal, out of the quarter, and stuck with the more family friendly area. It was fun and I even got a strand of the big beads!

If you ever get the chance, you should go. New Orleans is a culture all its own. Just go during the day, and stay off Bourbon street.

Desires

2009-02-11T14:41:00.000-08:00

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). Does this mean I will get whatever I want? We can attest to the fact that the answer is no. There are many things we want and don't get. And as Garth Brooks says, " Thank God for unanswered prayers" (we won't debate the theology behind that right now). But we do know, that God's ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). So, then what does it mean? First, I believe that as you delight in God, you begin to desire what He desires. Second, I believe, that as you delight in Him he blesses you with fulfilling your desires. These desires may not look like how you initially envisioned them, but the substance is the same.

Delight is satisfaction or pleasure. So, when I delight in God, I find satisfaction and pleasure in Him. As I learn more about God, I realize that His ways are best and I begin to desire (long for) them. For it is His ways only that promise true satisfaction and lasting pleasure.

I have been to all 50 states, I have been skydiving, and I am going to Germany. These are just three examples of why I believe that as we find satisfaction in God, He blesses us with the longings of our heart. They are icing on the cake, but they are of the flavor He chooses. We enjoy them, but they also accomplish His purpose.

By the time I entered college, I had been to a number of states. It became my goal to make it to all 50 in my lifetime. Little did I know, that I would accomplish this in a single year! But, at the beginning of our second year of marriage, Michael and I sold our home and took off in an RV, eventually making it to all 50. And yes, we flew to Alaska or Hawaii. What a thrill to realize my dream, but what purpose could God have in that? I can not speak for Him, but I can tell you what I see. Through that experience, we learned that traveling itself was not fulfilling. We needed to serve, to do something meaningful. It also showed us that we could sell our home and leave our business in the hands of another.

The second example I have is skydiving. I had often wanted to do it, but was too fearful of the landing. The falling didn't bother me, because it doesn't hurt, but the landing could. Then, in 2007 God was calling me to further surrender of my life to Him. As I prayed one day, I saw myself on the edge of a cliff. I had come to the moment of truth. Would I step off into thin air and trust God to catch me, or would I stay on that cliff of complacency? I thought about what it would feel like to let go. How could I experience that sensation without getting hurt? Skydiving! Was that a crazy idea? God couldn't possibly want me to do that. But, not having told this to anyone, a week later a friend asked if any of us wanted to go skydiving with her. I told her to sign me up! When that day came, I experienced not only the rush of free falling, but a defining moment. As I lunged out the door of the plane, I told God this was it, no going back, I was surrendering to His will. It was an amazing experience, far better than if I had done it years before just for the thrill of it.

Now, I find myself heading to Germany on a missions trip. Another desire of mine. I have always wanted to travel to Europe. I was supposed to after high school, but then the gulf war broke out. I had given up on the idea, but almost 18 years later, I am finally going. God, in His perfect timing and purpose has seen to it and made it better than it would have been. I would have gone as a tourist, but He is sending me to serve. A double portion of joy.

As I think back on other desires I have had, I can only wonder what the future holds. But, even if I never receive another one, I am satisfied. For I have learned through life's joys and pains, that my Lord and Saviour is enough. And it is my desire above all, to know Him and believe.

Guten Tag

2009-02-11T14:29:00.000-08:00

Well, the Smith adventure continues. There is no telling what lies around the bend on the road we are traveling. It is a road filled with many wonderful things, but it is not a road for the faint of heart. For security and predictability are not par for the course. But then, if you think about it, no road is, not really.

I am using that cryptic language again (sorry brother). To spell it out, we are off to Germany in March. Instead of heading home, we will spend a month in Germany. Coming to Wycliffe has been an amazing experience and we have found ourselves drawn into the vision. We will join a team for two weeks, participating in VBS, and then we will spend time with the missionaries.

We are looking forward to the adventure and the beauty of God's creation there. And we wait with anticipation to see what God has in store.

Air Orlando

2009-02-08T05:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, we got to enjoy Orlando from the skies. Michael and I won a plane ride in WA's auction, and yesterday was the perfect day to go. It was a beautiful, clear, sunny morning. Brent, our pilot, used to be a missionary in Africa with Missionary Aviation Fellowship. He now works at Wycliffe Associates, but still flies for fun. He is a great pilot, we didn't even feel the landing.

The plane belongs to another WAer and is a 1959 Cessna, but don't worry, it has been restored. It is a four seater, so I took the copilot role and Michael sat in back taking pictures (which made him a little queasy).

We flew out to Cocoa Beach, past the Kennedy Space Center and back. On our way back, we flew over the WA campus and and saw our RV. That was fun. We had to fly real low due to the Orlando International Airport nearby, which made for some rougher flying. I got a little queasy too, but we both kept our breakfast down.:) I did get to fly the plane a bit. It was fun, but a little nerve racking too. Any time the plane moved suddenly I got nervous. Overall I did fine and Brent was smart enough to know when to step in.:)

Another experience in this life I feel blessed to have had.

Fountain

2009-01-31T07:40:00.000-08:00

Here at Wycliffe there is a fountain that flows down to a lake (pictured above). I have stood at this fountain in prayer and contemplation. Water is a great symbol for the spiritual life. Jesus himself used it, as He proclaimed to be the Living water. Water that is constantly flowing, fresh, and sustains life. For believers, this water flows in us, filling us and flowing out to those around us. Or so that is how it should be, unless we have built up a damn in our hearts.

Have you ever stopped to watch a fountain such as the one pictured? I did. At first, I took in the big picture, but then I narrowed my vision. I thought of each tiny droplet and how together they form the overflow. I am one of those droplets and so are you. Alone we seem insignificant, but working together we can form a mighty body of water.

Wycliffe is much like this fountain. There are many different organizations, all independent, yet all working together to accomplish the goal of Bible translation. There are many different jobs (construction, accounting, teaching, etc.) but they are all working to support the goal of Bible translation. There are people from every denomination, but it is never mentioned, because we are focused on our common desire to see God's Word in the hands of everyone.

Next, I noticed the water flowing through the rocks on its way to the lake. I was struck by its persistence. As the water flowed, it did not stop when it came to a rock. Instead, it found a way around it. We need to be more like that water, and persevere when trials come, never giving up.

As we all join together, our joy will abound, just like the water spouting up in the middle of the lake.

God's Kingdom Economy

2009-01-31T07:18:00.000-08:00

The news is filled with doom and gloom about the state of the economy. We are in a recession or worse. Companies are tightening the belt or going under all together. Worry is the emotion of the times, at least for the world. What I witnessed last night was the complete opposite; joy and proof that God's Kingdom knows no recession.

We know that our God owns the cattle on a thousand hills and we are promised that if we honor Him with our wealth, our barns will be filled to overflowing and our vats will brim over with new wine (Proverbs 3:9-10). I have witnessed this with our own business, but last night it was an auction here at Wycliffe Associates. It was to raise money for a project in the Solomon Islands, which will further Bible translation.

People gave freely and abundantly. There was good natured bidding, and giving away of items won, as all was for a good cause. Laughter abounded, as a challenge between the sewing ladies and the cooks brought in over $2000.00. Michael and I even joined in on the fun. Mostly we just helped drive up the price, but we won a few things too. Those who really know us will not be surprised when I say that Michael bid on pizza coupons and won! The total raised was $31,754! Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him!(2 Cor. 2:14)

The Word Is Alive

2009-01-16T16:28:00.000-08:00

While we were in Lovers Key, I bought Casting Crowns, The Altar And The Door, album. It is excellent, but one song fits so perfectly for Wycliffe. The title of the song is, The Word Is Alive. Some of the lyrics are: "God chose to make himself known, to show us the way back to Him. Speaking wisdom and truth into the hearts of peasants and kings. He began to unveil the Word that would change the course of all things. With eyes wide open, all would see, the Word is alive and it cuts like a sword through the darkness with a message of life to the hopeless and afraid. Breathing life into all who believe. The world in its glories will fade, but his truth will not pass away, it remains."

Wycliffe's vision is that everyone would have God's Word in their heart language, that is their birth language, the one that they understand deeply. Though missionaries can go and tell them of the Gospel, Wycliffe believes real, sustained spiritual growth will only come with the study of scripture. And they have seen first hand the change it makes in peoples lives. Many of the tribal people live in darkness, shrouded with mysticism. When they read the gospel, it really does cut through that darkness like a sword, giving them hope and releasing them from their fears. It is the message of hope, not just for peasants, but also for kings. Whether rich or poor, we all have a need for hope and salvation, for something beyond ourselves.

I can attest from personal experience, that the Word makes a huge difference. The Word has shown me the character of God and His plan for humanity. It has revealed His promises and His faithfulness in keeping them. His love and Jesus' life give me hope. The Word was a light unto my path and a lamp unto my feet during my darkest hour. When the infertility shots failed to work again and I was devastated, it was the truth that kept me. As I lay on my bed crying, wondering what God was doing, the Spirit brought to mind what I knew to be true of God. I was reminded that God is love, that He does want my best, and that He works all things for my good. Satan did not want me to listen, because he knew what would happen if I did. However, I did listen and in that moment I believed and chose God, even over having a child. God has a plan and He will heal my womb in His timing.

For this reason, Wycliffe's vision is close to my heart. It is my desire for everyone to know God and believe. It is not just for the promise of eternal life, but for the joy and peace we can experience now as well. God's Word is as alive and active today as it was 2000 years ago. Praise the LORD!

Oregon

2009-01-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

Well, I am now in Oregon, but just for a few days. I left Michael in Florida and came out west to visit my niece. She scowled at me for the first half hour or so, but she is warming up now. She can even say my name (when she feels like it). :) It is so cute, she says it Beppy. I will have lots of pictures and video to post on facebook.

Michael is working in the Discovery Center today at Wycliffe. This is his first day and he was a little nervous about all the kids, but it is a small homeschool group and he said they are good kids. Yeah for homeschoolers! Michael says he misses me, but he is OK because he still has his second love...food! He is excited to eat out every night while I am gone. I have it so easy as a wife, I would never have to cook if I didn't want to. :)

Well. we are settled into our jobs at Wycliffe. Michael is planning 3 dinners for the end of the month (I am helping a little). It has turned into a bit more than he anticipated, but He is doing great! He is also helping at the Discovery center. I am a prayer warrior for the advancement dept. Yes, my job is to pray! And I am loving it! I get to combine my three passions, the Word, prayer and exercise (they have a lake I can walk around while I pray). I pray for requests that donors send in, for staff and for the projects going on around the world.

Orientation

2009-01-06T16:28:00.000-08:00

Well, we have been at Wycliffe less than a week and my brain is already fried! I had no idea Wycliffe was so big! We really didn't know much coming in, just that they did Bible translation and it was a warm, sunny spot to spend winter. :) I have learned that it is so much more. And it has begun to find its way into my heart. Now I know why most of the volunteers have been coming back for years.

We arrived on the 1st, were greeted warmly and immediately invited to a social gathering. Most of the volunteers are retired and so they loved seeing a "young couple" come in. We now have an extended family; lots of grandparents! They work really hard to make things nice for their volunteers. There are volunteers, whose job it is to feed and entertain the other volunteers! Did I mention they like to eat? People worry about us being so much younger, but we fit right in. We even found another couple to play Euchre with!

On Monday we met with a recruiter to help us find a job that fits our skills and interests. He is also encouraging us to go over seas. Wycliffe has so many opportunities to serve, you can go just about anywhere and do just about anything. Wycliffe Bible Translators sends missionaries to translate, but they also have many roles that help serve the translators. There are other missions like them all over the world, that they work with too. Wycliffe Associates provides the volunteers. We aren't sure yet what we will be doing while we are here. So far, we have just been helping with some odds and ends.

There are still around 2500 languages that have no scripture translated in their language. This touches me deeply, because I have such a passion for knowing God's word and helping others know it too. I can not imagine being unable to have a Bible and read God's word. And it grieves my heart how many have access to it and don't take advantage of it. We take so much for granted here in the US, myself included. I try to look outside, but I seem to keep coming back to myself. Praise God for His grace! If you are interested, you can find out more on the web at wycliffe.org. I encourage you to check it out.

Blessed be His name!

A New Home

2009-01-01T16:08:00.000-08:00

Well, we have arrived at our new, temporary home. We arrived today at Wycliffe in Orlando. The welcome was so warm, and I mean the friendliness of the people, not the temperature, though that was pretty good too. We have only been here for a few short hours and already have been to two social gatherings and had lots of offers of help. We are a bit on information overload from all the helpful advice, but are thankful for it. Tomorrow we get our I.D. badges and some orientation. We still need to figure out what jobs we will be doing. They seem just as accommodating in that department, trying to fit you with something in your area of expertise or interest. And they are all so excited about how young we are, as most of them could be our parents or grandparents. It makes me feel like a kid again!

I am excited to learn more about Wycliffe, as they seem very multifaceted. They have a discovery center and many overseas opportunities. The campus here is much larger than I expected, I am glad we brought our bikes. The campground is off the road, so private and yet not far from town. For now, it is time to get settled and then off to bed!

Happy New Year!

Christmas in Florida

2008-12-28T10:22:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas in Florida is definitely different. It just doesn't feel quite right when it is 80 degrees outside! But, we managed. :) We spent the morning working around the park. Then we had a traditional dinner of ham, green beans, rolls and pumpkin pie. Next came a nap and then a walk on the beach. It was a enjoyable day, but something was missing... Christmas lights, that is it! So, in the truck we went in search of lights. We found a neighbor hood full of them, it was great! Of course there are a few differences, such as, lights on palm trees instead of evergreens, Santa being pulled by flamingos instead of reindeer and frosty didn't look quite right when it was 75 degrees out. But now I could go home in peace, a Christmas tradition was kept.

Michael and I had no presents to open on Christmas morning, we were sleeping in ours! We decided to buy a different 5th wheel. It is two years newer and has two more slide outs. Plus, we got a great deal. Now we just have to sell our old one! Will we ever stop moving? Probably not! :) It sure makes life interesting, and keeps one from collecting too much stuff. Moving wasn't too bad, I did it all in one day (campers don't hold a lot).

Our time at Lovers Key is just about up and then it will be on to Orlando. A new place, new people, a new experience. On we go!

Job Complete

2008-12-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

Well, our big plumbing job is finished! It had some interesting twists and turns, but I won't bore you with the details. All I need to say is... it was a trailer remodel. Scary! Who knows what they will have us do next. But, working 2 and 1/2 days a week in beautiful weather isn't bad.

Tomorrow, we head for the beach! I am looking forward to a day of soaking up sun and reading a good book. Plus, you never know what you will find at the beach. Last time, we got to watch a falcon eat his dinner. Yes, the whole thing! We were lying on the beach minding our own business, when Mr. Falcon landed about 8 feet from my head. Michael told me to look up, and there he was with a smaller bird between his talons. He then proceeded to "dig in". Even with all the people milling about, taking his picture, he just kept on eating. He stayed until he had eaten everything except the head and a few wing feathers. Talk about licking your plate clean! It was kind of gruesome, but at the same time neat. I have never shared a meal with a wild animal. :)

Last week, we had our big adventure on the city bus. We took the bus all the way to North Fort Myers, a two hour trip. It was long and interesting. I realized what a sheltered life I live. We may say the bus ride consisted of abnormal people, but were they? Or, is that how most people are and we are the abnormal ones? It sure gave me a lot to be thankful for and a little more understanding. Don't know that I want to do it everyday, but the experience is good. It is any ones guess what we will do next. Until then...

Lover's Key State Park

2008-12-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

We have now thoroughly explored the park, both by land and by sea. It is a beautiful park. We have traveled the trails and beach, collecting many different kinds of shells and the canals, where we weren't sure we would make it back. We have come, and we have conquered! OK, that may be a bit extreme, but the canoeing felt like a major accomplishment. The canals wind around for a couple miles and we paddled them all in one day. We thought about turning back, but the pull to make it to the end kept us going. The problem was, once we got to the end we had to turn around and go back! On the way back, we found a little spot of beach and got out to rest a bit (mainly our back side). It was a great afternoon.

Our exploring so far, has led to Wal-Mart, of course, a pizza restaurant, of course, the library and the laundry mat. On Sunday we went to Fort Myers Beach and found some volleyball. It was about our speed, so we asked to play. The wind was blowing hard, but it was fun. They play every weekend, so we will go again next week.

This week, we were trained on all the details and did a few other odd jobs around the park. Next week we start on a plumbing job. I could go nuts cleaning around the shop, but we will see. Cleaning a shop is probably pointless, beyond the basic organizing.

We are enjoying our time here and hope to come back and stay longer next year.

We have landed

2008-12-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

The snow birds have landed. We have arrived at our first destination, Lover's Key State Park in Bonita Springs, FL. We are getting settled and enjoying the new surroundings and the warm weather. Although, we have had a bit of a cold snap. It was a freezing 62 degrees today! I know, you can shoot me later. :)

The park is really nice. It is very natural, with lots of foliage. There are canals to kayak in, nature trails to walk and the beach to go shelling, walking or just lay around on. The beach is a 2 1/2 mile stretch.

The volunteer camp sights are hidden from the public, which is nice. We have met a few of the other volunteers and they all seem really nice. The atmosphere is very laid back. We have a few assigned duties, but the rest of the hours we can split up as we wish. It looks like we will work 2 or 3 days a week. We have to clean the restrooms and unlock the park on Tues. mornings (not a big deal), close the park and empty trash on Saturday evenings, and Fridays is our day to man the maintenance shop. The rest of our hours will be filled with outdoor clean up and maintenance jobs. Michael and I can work together, which will be nice.

Today we are going to check out the surrounding towns. Fort Myers Beach to the north and Bonita Springs to the south. Michael, of course, is looking for pizza restaurants and I am looking for shops. :) Take care. I will try and write again soon.

"In": Little word, big meaning

2008-11-19T14:36:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed the word "in" has only two letters, but carries a very large connotation with it? Think back to high school. Wasn't it a big deal if you were a part of the "in crowd"? Everyone wants to be "in the know". What feelings does it conjure up when you think back to applying for an exclusive membership and they said, "You're in!"? An adopted child is now "in the family". So, what does it mean to be "in"? It means you receive all the rights, privileges, and honor that organization or people group offers. It means you have certain responsibilities too. As Christians, we are included "in Christ" when we believe (Ephesians 1:13). So what is the big meaning for us? We are sealed with the Holy Spirit, who resides in us, so that we are given the fullness of Christ. We get to enjoy the rights, privileges and honor of Christ, and yes, the responsibilities too.

We were God's enemies, destined for His wrath, but because of His great love for us, He reconciled us to Himself in Christ, not counting our sins against us (2 Corinthians 5:19). "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). God sent Jesus Christ to be sin for us, so that in Him we might have redemption and become the righteousness of God (2 Corinthians 5:21). 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come". We are baptized into His death, so that we might be raised with Him to live a new life (Romans 6:4).

Through faith in Christ Jesus, we are adopted as God's children. We receive the rights of a son. "Now if we are God's children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may share in his glory." (Romans 8:17). We have an inheritance kept in heaven, that will never perish, spoil, or fade (1 Peter 1:4). We will receive eternal life when Christ returns. We will be raised imperishable and will have the privilege of reigning with Him. Even now, we are seated with Christ in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 2:6).

The joys of as life in Christ are not just for eternity, but now as well. For we were once dead in our transgressions, but now by the grace and mercy of God, we are dead to sin and alive to God (Romans 6:11)! Paul tells us in Romans 8:1 that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We have been brought near to God and may approach Him with freedom and confidence, knowing that nothing can separate us from His love. We can live by faith, standing firm in hope, because all of God's promises are "yes" in Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20). The resurrection power is at work in us by the Holy Spirit. We are being sanctified and built into a spiritual house with fellow believers. God will meet all our needs in Christ Jesus and His peace will guard our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:7 & 19).

Jesus came that we might have life abundantly, but not a life lived for self. We are to live for the will of God, who has called us to be His ambassadors. To be ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-21). "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10). We are responsible to set our hearts on things above and not on earthly things. Putting to death what belongs to the earthly nature and clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:1-17). It is all summed up in the greatest commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself." (Mark 12:30-31).

As long as we live in these bodies, we will struggle to fulfill our responsibilities. It is as Paul says, "I do not understand what I do...When I want to do good, evil is right there with me...Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!"(Romans 7:15-25). Christ is always at God's right hand interceding for us, so we can be confident that our salvation is secure. And His Spirit enables us to work out our salvation, "for it is God who works in us to will and to act according to his good purpose." (Philippians 2:13). To become in practice what we already are in position. We are looking forward to the day when perfection comes and the imperfect disappears (1 Corinthians 13:9-12). Until that day, we will press on to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14).

Two weeks to launch

2008-11-12T11:32:00.000-08:00

Well about two and a half. Lord willing, we will be leaving November 29th for Florida! We will be volunteering in exchange for a place to hookup our camper. It is on the beach just south of Fort Myers Beach. Then we will head to Orlando to work with Wycliffe for a while. We will probably hit Louisiana before we head home in March or April. So, we have a busy winter planned. We are looking forward to it, especially as the weather has turned cold here. Michael is still trying to get those elusive deer before we leave, and I am trying make sure any Christmas planning is done.

The fall has been great. We have enjoyed "camping" at my in-laws. I have had time to reconnect with friends here and even sing some with my girls. :) I also got to go on a Walk to Emmaus, which was a wonderful experience. I felt God's love so strong and he used it to free me from fear and encourage me to be who He created. I have not already attained it, but I press on toward the goal. It was a weekend full of laughter and tears, death and rebirth. God has filled me with His blessings of grace and mercy. I am falling deeper in love with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. All praise, glory and honor go to Him!

Thanks for caring and I will try and write soon!

Porcupines, Rattlesnakes and Perspective

2008-10-22T15:57:00.000-07:00

Are porcupine quills good or bad? They are sharp as needles, detach very easily and remain embedded in the attacker. They have microscopic, backwards-facing barbs on the tip, designed to pull the quill further into the tissues with normal muscle movements, making them difficult and painful to remove. Would you call that good or bad?

What about rattlesnakes? They have hemotoxic venom that destroys tissue, degenerates organs, and causes disrupted blood clotting. Tropical species have an even more deadly venom called neurotoxin. It interferes with the heart function, paralyzes the lungs and shuts down parts of the nervous system. Can that be good?

The answer is all in whose perspective you are looking from. Cognitive perspective refers to the aspect being looked from. If you are talking from your point of view, you would talk about what you want, need, or feel like. So, from our perspective porcupine quills and rattlesnakes venom are bad. However, ask the porcupine or rattlesnake and you will get a very different answer. They will tell you it is very, very good, for what means suffering to us, means life to them.

So it is with life's trials. They can tear down, or they can build up. It is all in your perspective. Is this life all there is, or are you looking forward to eternal life? Do you long to be comfortable or do you long to know God? Do you judge God by your circumstances or your circumstances by God's perspective?

These are simple questions to answer, but hard to believe, especially in the midst of hardship. I know, I have been there. I spent time in the pit of my perspective. I could not understand why I was not able to conceive a child, when others simply throw theirs away. My infertility was not good. It was unfair. I was a failure. Depression became my constant companion. That is until I began to see things from God's perspective. Only God, in His wisdom, knows what it takes to conform us to His Son. I believe Romans 8:28, that all things do work out for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. I can now say, my barrenness is good, for it has brought with it a faith in God I never knew before.

Dog Update

2008-10-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

I can walk my route again! The dogs have been permanently dealt with! Not by me, but maybe for me. God has given us wisdom from which to draw and scripture says not to put God to the test, so i did not travel that road on foot for the next several days after the incident. Michael and I drove to the house one day to talk to the owners, but no one was home. We did see one of the dogs though. It approached Michael and barked, but not vicously. Then, two days ago, as Michael and I were driving up the road, we saw two young girls walking that particular dog. Michael stopped the car and asked the girl if the dog was friendly. She said yes, that she was a grandma dog. I asked about the other two and the girl said they weren't around anymore, they had been shot. We asked when and she said two days before, which would have been a day or two after I encountered them. Wow! I wasn't expecting that one, but praise God I am free to roam again! God really does take care of those who fear Him.

October in Indiana

2008-10-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

By birth, I am a northwest girl and I still prefer the beauty of Oregon to most of the Midwest, but you can't beat Indiana in October! The weather is perfect. Temperatures are cool enough in the evenings for a camp fire, but the days are warm and sunny. Oh, and did I mention dry! But the thing that really sets it apart is the array of color. The woods are an artist's canvas with hues of red, orange and yellow. Though trees "back home" change color as well, the ratio of deciduous trees here is so much greater. After 12 years, I still love to watch the change and make an effort not to take it for granted. I take time to stop and gaze at the trees.

Yesterday, as I was gazing, I thanked God for color; a blue sky, green grass, yellow daisies, red roses, purple flowers, rainbows, stained glass windows and trees. How boring it would be if all of life was black and white. God could have designed the world that way, but He didn't. He loves variety; just look at the people around you. God himself is known by many different names, each one depicting another aspect of His character. We too like variety, on our own terms.

Someone once said that variety is the spice of life, but spicy can lead to heartburn! We like variety in nature and food, but what about people? In people, there are as many combinations as there are people. We each have certain combos we like and others that rub us the wrong way. The question arises, is it them or me? Maybe a combination of both! But having the correct perspective goes along way in helping us get along. And the key that opens the door is love.

Colossians 3:12-14

Who Let The Dogs Out?

2008-10-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as I was walking home, I had a close encounter with 3 very large dogs! I have been jogging around neighborhoods for years where dogs roam free and have never been afraid, but today raised my heart rate. A certain friend of mine should get a kick out of this. She was my running partner and every time we encountered one of the fury creatures, she would practically climb up my back. I on the other hand would continue on as if they were not there, except for the one that almost tripped me and then I kicked it (sorry animal lovers). If the dog looked fierce enough I would say a pray upon his approach and ask God to keep him away. Today, however, I met my match.

I was traveling along the same road I have been taking for weeks. I had not previously seen any animals along this route, except maybe the occasional squirrel. When off to my left I spotted a couple of dogs in a driveway. I said my usual quick prayer. When they came abreast of me, I saw how very large they were. They were huge! My husband thinks I might be exaggerating, but I promise there was saliva on my elbow! A thought crossed my mind that they might be friendly, so I turned to the one on my right to extend my hand in friendship. As I turned, it bared its teeth and gave two loud, ominous barks. Right then I decided to forget the friendship! Instead, I withdrew my hand and shivered all over as I squealed. I told myself that I had to remain calm, because they would smell my fear and go in for the kill. I kept walking. About then a third dog bounded around in front of me. I had to do something!

I don't know what your particular beliefs are, but I believe in the power of Jesus' name. I began rebuking the dogs out loud, saying "In the name of Jesus get away from me!". I repeated this several times. I also prayed that God would send His Holy Angels with flaming swords and all to scare them away. I thought of Elijah and the flaming chariots that surrounded them, when God opened his servants eyes. So, I asked for them too. At that point I couldn't have too much help! As I walked on began to sense that I was by myself, so I looked back. They were still following but at a much farther distance. I prayed another prayer. Then I lost sight of them. At that point, as my heart rate began to fall, I began to praise God! I thanked Him for His deliverance from their paws. How great it is to have God, the all-powerful one, as my constant companion!

I can now look back and laugh at the whole situation, but at the time it was very real and very frightening. Regardless of what you may think, my calling on the Lord was real too and I believe He delivered me. I am not determining my theology by this one experience, but this one experience has fortified my faith. It has done exactly what we are meant to do and that is to glorify God. He is my Beloved and I am His. Amen!

As to my future walking/jogging routes... we will have to see.:)

Years Gone By

2008-10-03T14:12:00.000-07:00

While in Oregon this summer I jumped light years in the technology world. OK, I am still light years behind, but at least give me some credit for progress.:) Yes, this summer I found face book and blogging. I really had no desire to pursue such things, and the interest is still limited, but I have found joy in being able to reconnect with people from my past. So, thank you Jen for mentioning it and mom for helping me get started.

It is amazing what fifteen years or so of life can do. The past two months, I have wandered back to days gone by and through what the years since have brought to our lives. How many of us are where we thought we would be (be honest)? I know I am not, but is that such a bad thing? Graduating from high school we all had hopes and dreams for the future. Graduating college gave us the skills to pursue them, or so we hoped. Now, we have a chance to look back and reevaluate for the future with a little more wisdom.

My life took a different path than I was pursuing those years ago, but one I thank God for. I went to college for a degree in Business and with a desire to climb the proverbial corporate ladder. I did get that business degree, but half way through my senior year God began to change my desires and He had given me a "thorn in the flesh" or gut in my case. God began calling my heart to missions and showing me the emptiness of "success". I got a temporary job in the executive section of a state agency, which was under going a building project at the time. I realized that it all came down to getting an office with a window. I knew I wanted more. (Please understand I am not disparaging anyone who works in such an environment, it is just not what God desired for my life) And looking back, the stress related I.B.S. i am plagued with would have been a nightmare in the rat race. So, I began raising support and moved to Indiana to work for a mission agency who took teens on foreign mission trips.

After being there a year I was engaged to a wonderful man, Michael, and we were soon married. Upon our marriage, I left the mission and went to work with him at the family pizza restaurant. I never dreamed people would look at me and think of pizza, but so be it! :) We live in a quaint little Midwest town, where just about everybody knows your name, or at least your business. We have enjoyed our life of work, church, friends and occasional travel. God has now blessed us with the opportunity to hire a manager, so we can travel more extensively and serve Him.

Life has not been without its trials. The hardest dream that has gone unfulfilled has been for a family. It is a joy to see all of you with your kids, but I would be remiss to say it doesn't pain me a little at times. For 8 years I have longed to have a child of my own, but it has not been God's will. I sought physicians help, but to no avail. It is hard to explain to those who have children, but for those of you who have been or are there, I know you can relate. I went through frustration, depression and despair, but God lifted me up and I can truly say that I am thankful for it. Do I wish I was a mother, of course, but would I trade who I am now? No.

For those of you who knew me when, I apologize. I look back at my attitudes and actions then and shudder. Most would have considered me good and by worldly standards perhaps I was, but for those who suffered my self-righteousness, I am sorry. I have learned much since then and continue to grow, by the grace of God. He has shown me the sinfulness of my nature and the necessity of His grace. He has taught me His character and shown me His love. I have found rest in Him. I am trusting for His best in my life, even when I don't understand. God has proven faithful every time. He has given me joy and peace in the midst of my trial. So, I still hope, in Him, that one day I will hold a child in my arms. A child from my womb. I believe, but even if it never happens, yet will I praise Him.

Water

2008-10-01T14:55:00.000-07:00

Water. It is a vital nutrient. Life can not be sustained without it. And true life can not be sustained without living water. While traveling we came upon a curios sight which brought home a spiritual lesson.

After miles and miles and miles of barrenness in Utah, we came upon a town called Green River. It is an oasis in an otherwise dry land. Right there in the middle of the desert were trees and life. All this because there was a water source. A river running through the middle that made everything green. It was such a shocking contrast to the rest of the land. It was beautiful and inviting.

God's grace is like Green River, an unexpected beauty in the midst of barrenness. If I let His living water flow through me, my life can produce something beautiful even if the circumstances around me remain dry. (John 7:37-39) I can be that oasis to weary travelers who God sends my way. Lord, do your work in me. (Psalm 1:1-3)

I am reminded that this world is not reality, but only a shadow of reality. It is to prepare us and lead us to the One who will give us true life, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. (Psalm 19)